My name's Toasty. 16 years old. Occupation: A badass saxophone player. I've lived in California for all my life. I have one sister but we've never lived together. She's a bit older than me and has been abroad for most of my life. Honestly when she was around though I was really happy. She was sorta my only friend was I was a kid and over the years I kinda just lost any other friend I had. I don't exactly know how it'd happen or why. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I was just too cool for them. Or maybe they just weren't allowed hang out with me because of my parents. My father is sorta a drunk. He's still awesome but..just not exactly kid friendly. Not in a bad way or anything though. He just scares people off a lot. So yeah I never had many friends. That is though until _she_ moved to town.
Marshy Rocha. My best friend. Smart, gorgeous, funny and popular. Who knows why she became my friend. It sorta just happened. She was always there when no one else was and I was there for her. It was great. But there was one thing about her. Something I couldn't explain and it only started happening kinda in the past 2 months. Whenever she was around...it made my heart beat faster and gave me butterflies.
I was crazy, right? I couldn't be in love with a girl could I? Let alone my best friend! But...Here I was. Blabbing out my feelings in front of the beautiful red-head. Yes I was confessing to her. I was definitely crazy...
"So uh...yeah...I um....I like you....Maybe even love you...I don't understand the feelings..but they're there" I said in a weak voice and I stared straight at the ground, my face bright red, my heart pounding out of chest.
She didn't say anything. Not a word. I wasn't looking at her but I could feel the crushing presence of her surprised, possibly angry glare. Why did I do this. Why did I think she'd ever accept me...No. Whether she accepted me or not was not what mattered here. I did this for a reason and I'm going through with it
Gaining sudden courage, I slowly lifted my head to look at Marshy. My lip quivered nervously and my voice came out cracked. "M-Marshy..?" I coughed to compose myself. "I um...I'm sorry if you don't feel the sa-"
"I love you too"
I was cut off by the taller girl. My world stopped. It took my a minute to realise her words so I just stood there dumbfounded, looking up at her then before I realised my own actions my lips were pressed against hers. What was I doing?! And why?? I didn't know the answers to those questions and I still don't but what I was doing felt good. It felt right and soon: she was kissing me back. The girl I loved was pressing her lips back against mine, reassuring me that she returned the feelings.
Before I knew it the gentle kissing had turned into full on making out. My tongue slid past hers and she sucked on it seemingly instinctively. I let out a soft whimper, unable to control my voice then I followed her movements back; lapping my tongue over hers and biting her lip, gaining a small squeak of pleasure from her as I wrapped my hands around her waist.
It went on like that. The two of us in the middle of her bedroom making out. Making out progressed to something more and soon I had my first time with my best friend, the girl I loved and afterword I layed in her arms in nothing but my panties. I needed to tell her and tell her fast but I just...I couldn't. So I waited till morning.
And so morning came (and so did I. A lovely wake up call if you ask me). We both got dressed and she walked me home. Once we reached my house I knew I had to say it. I couldn't wait any more so I asked her if she wanted to come to the little playground near my house. She nodded somewhat confused and we took a walk there.
She was sat on the swing. A setting sunset going behind the houses behind her. Her silhouette calmed me a bit as I couldn't see her face but knowing her gaze was on me still made my heart pound. I stared at a small pebble on the ground and bit my lip. It was quiet and I was surprised she didn't question it at all. Finally I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came off and I was cut off before anything could be said
"So um.." Marshy said, obviously nervous beyond belief. "I guess this makes you my girlfriend now..huh"
My heart stung at those words but I nodded slowly. I couldn't do it. There was no way I could say it after hearing those words. So I didn't. I opened my mouth to speak again and all that came out was a meek "Yeah...I'm your girlfriend now" followed by a forced sad smile.
The week went on and finally...I was moving tomorrow and I still hadn't told Marshy, my best friend, the girl I loved. We had went on a few dates in that week. I wanted to make it last as much as possible. It was the happiest week of my life. Followed by the saddest when I moved to Dakota. I left her a note. I couldn't do anything else. There was no way I could face her...So I just left her the note. It read :
Dear Marshy, I love you so so so much but unfortunately our time has come to an end...I'm moving to south Dakota today and I'm never gonna see you again. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. It was just way too hard. Especially after the night we had. Thank you for that by the way. I'm glad you could be my first. I really do love you so much and deep down I think I always have. You've given me the best week of my life. You're my best friend and favourite person in the world. You were always there for me when nobody else was and I know this is the third time of me saying this but..I love you. So much. Thank you for everything. Goodbye.
I think she probably cried her eyes out after reading it. I still feel like a total ass for not being able to tell her in person but at least I told her about my feelings and spent my last week with her. I'll always have a special place in my heart for that girl. Marshy Rocha. The beautiful red-head
