Booty Call (Flash Fiction)

BOOTY CALL

by

Keara Kevay

Copyright 2012 by Keara Kevay

Alice studied herself in the mirror.  “This is stupid,” she muttered, “Forty-seven and going to a masquerade.  At least no one will recognize me—dressed as a man.”

Growing up, she wanted to be a Hollywood makeup artist, and with good reason—she had natural artistic skills.  She studied her pirate outfit.  She hadn’t been going for Jack Sparrow, per se, but she was damn close.  She smoothed her facial hair; happy with how well it adhered, and then tugged at her dark dreadlocks.  She considered the wasted hours she devoted to her appearance, all to go to something she didn’t want to attend.

She flattened her breasts with an ace bandage and a sports bra; it was a little uncomfortable, but she could breathe.  She studied the mirror; something was missing.  “Oh,” she giggled as the realization hit her, “I need a penis.”  The trousers were too flat and awkwardly camel-toed.  She considered a sock, but she liked going to extremely realistic lengths.  She opened her nightstand and grabbed her faithful silicon friend then unzipped her pants; this wasn’t going to work with a thong.

She remembered she had three boxes of Kaden’s clothes sitting in the laundry room.  She grabbed a Kleenex and caught the first tear before it ran her eyeliner.  She couldn’t believe just mentally saying his name still hurt so much.  He had been perfect and beautiful.  She called him her mid-life crisis; truly, he had been her mid-life rescuer.  Her failing marriage of twenty years to Ross felt as if it choked every particle of life out of her—until she met Kaden.  He was a 37 year-old divorcee with thick dark hair, jade colored eyes, and the biceps of a god.  He made her feel seventeen again.  He made her feel beautiful, wanted, desirable, and alive.

After her divorce, she moved to a condo with a fabulous view overlooking the river; she invited Kaden to join her as friends with benefits.  He accepted, and for seven months it was total bliss.  Sex without ties was amazing.  She encouraged him to enjoy other people his own age or younger, while she would also take liberties with some of her male friends.  She never told him there hadn’t been anyone else.  How could she sleep with another when perfection lived inside her home?

She realized something was wrong when he became secretive.  She suspected he found someone and fell in love but didn’t know how to break the news.  To her utter shock when she confronted him, he asked her to marry him.  Her immediate answer: “NO!”  She couldn’t forget the crushed look on his face.  He wanted to talk.  He said he was in love with her, but they needed to get things out in the open first.  She refused.  His marriage proposal slammed all her emotional doors closed so fast, all she could say was “No.”  To keep from ruining his life, she told him to get out.

Two months later, here she stood, dressed like a man and sobbing over having to use Kaden’s underwear to hold her false penis—life sucked.

She thought she felt awkward in her apartment as a man, but that was nothing compared to standing in a crowd.  She worked her way to the bar and sat next to a salty wench.  The woman looked at her and smiled.  Great!  She thinks I’m a guy!  Might as well play it up.  She ordered Captain Morgan on the rocks in her best, deep English accent.  A few glasses later, they were having a marvelous time.

Alice knew she needed to lay off the rum; she was too deep in her role.  She had the distinct feeling she was misleading this poor girl.  When the woman reached over and grabbed her stiff friend under her pants, things had gone too far.

“I don’t think I’ve had quite enough rum to allow that kind of behavior,” Alice laughed.

“You’re right.  You need to drink up!”

Alice laughed again and began to drain the contents from her glass when she felt heated breath in her ear.

“Take advantage of me,” the woman purred.

“I’m sorry,” Alice stated, still in character, “I’m not into women.”

The woman straightened and brushed her tangle of golden curls away from her lip-glossed mouth, “You’re gay?”

Alice burst into laughter, “Just tonight, Darling.”

Suddenly, the woman’s voice dropped into a husky, familiar range, “I guess it’s a good thing I’m a guy.”

Alice knew that voice, “Kaden?”

He responded in shock, “Alice?”

“Holy shit!  You thought I was a guy—and you were hitting on me?”

Even under all the makeup, he blushed.  “Surprise,” he winced, “I told you we needed to talk.”

“But why ask me to marry you if you’re gay?”

“I’m not gay—I’m bi.”

She was stunned beyond words.

“I’m in love with you, Alice.  I’ve been miserable without you, but you need to know some of my male friends are more than friends.  I needed to know if you could accept that, but you threw me out before I could explain I wanted an open marriage.  You probably hate me, right?”

“I could never hate you—I love you, too.”

“So you cross-dress?” he laughed.

She grinned, “No, but if you like it, I will.  I’ve been miserable without you, too.”

He pulled her against himself; he was aroused and hard, “I hope you know how to operate what you’re packing.”

She felt the hot tingle between her legs, “There’s only one way to find out.”

Sex with him had always been intense, but now it was off the charts.  By the time they lay exhausted in the tangled sheets, he confessed monogamy might be possible if she didn’t mind being the dominant one once in a while.

A cocky grin spread on her face, “Sometimes my bitch has to cook and clean—and bend over in front of me a lot.”

He laughed, “A booty call?  Baby, I’m yours.”