Playing With Fire

Chapter 1

I woke up to the rays of Sun hitting my bloodshot eyes. As I tried to get up, I fell on my ass as the hammock flipped me over. I had slept on the hammock? How and why? My head was pounding along my footsteps as if they were supposed to be in perfect harmony. I've had hangovers before but this? This was new.

After fumbling with my keys for a minute, I walked in with my shoes in one hand and my phone tucked under my arm. I headed straight to the shower and as the cold water started running down my body, the events of last night started coming back to me. After almost 5 years, I finally had the strength - or was it liquid courage to walk away from an abusive relationship. Not that he was cheating or any of that at this particular moment; things were actually going good. We were just in 2 different places mentally.

We were at his sister Anna's engagement party. Everything was perfect. Drinks were flowing. Laughter all around and happiness in the air. But the moment I saw my boyfriend David slowly get on one knee with a tiny velvet box in hand revealing an amazing ring, my mind got a little foggy. I zoned out of his proposal and instead of thinking about our future, our kids and meeting him up an aisle in an amazing white dress, my mind just took me back to all he had put me through. Before my brain could even process all my thoughts, I cut him short and just blurted out "No!".

There were gasps all around and I was too embarrassed to even bother to look at the people in the crowd. I just grabbed my bag and walked away. Don't get me wrong. I love David ; mind body and soul, but I guess sometimes love itself is not enough . I got into my car and found the radio was on so I just turned it off, started the ignition and started off for an unknown destination. I just needed to be alone with my own thoughts cause even I myself wasn't so sure what had just happened. I turned off my phone and definitely couldn't go straight home cause that's the first place David would look for me. I actually feel terrible for him.

All I did was drive for miles and just process my thoughts. I mean how can I be someone's wife when I don't even know who I am? How can I be someone's support system to someone who broke me down for years? A part of me was actually stunned that it took me so long to leave. Another part of me always had hope that he could change and finally be the man I wanted him to be. But a huge part of me if I'm being honest with myself, was scared of going back to being alone and lonely. And the very guilty part of me that still really loves him wanted to turn the car around and tell him what a mistake I had made. But the damage was done. I had already made my bed and now, I had to lie in it.

After about an hour, I turned the car around and turned the radio on. Sia songs were on and I sang along helplessly. When I got back to the city, I went straight over to my best friend Natalie's house . Unannounced of course. And I knew this was the last place David would ever check. If there is one person I know who for sure would be dancing - and maybe even pissing on the grave of our relationship, it would be her. She disliked - no. She hated him from the first time they met and had been encouraging me to leave him ever since. I hardly blame her though. I bought a bottle of tequila on my way. I wasn't sure but I had a feeling if I had to talk to her about David all night, she'd need it .

Upon pulling into her driveway, I discovered she was hosting a small party. Obviously I wasn't invited because she knew I would be at the engagement party and even if I had bothered to invite her, I knew her answer would be a straight up no.

" Just in time! " she said hugging me after receiving the bottle. She placed her hands on my shoulders and studied my face carefully. She didn't even have to ask. She knew something was wrong. She grabbed me by the hand and had to find our way with a bunch of drunk people in the house. The minute we were alone, I guess that's when it all hit me. Tears just filled my eyelids and the moment I closed my eyes I was a hysterical mess. I was so full of emotions and I guess I let them all out. I just kept wide ring to myself; Had I done the right thing?

I calmed down about half an hour and 3 shots of tequila later. Natalie and I emerged from her room laughing about how I bolted from the proposal. She kept teasing me calling me runaway bride. I was actually having fun and decided to stay for the party . I'm not much of a drinker but if there was one thing I knew for sure was there was no time like the present and I deserved to have fun but judging from my hungover, I had a little too much.