My Random Thoughts

Heartbroken

What do you do when your relationship feels so right but at the same time you feel as though it is going on a downwards roller coaster that will crash into the ground?

What would you do if you constantly caught your significant other hiding their phone from you while they are texting some other girl?

What would you do if your relationship crashed and burned? Would you pull through and keep going on as if nothing Is wrong? Or would you not be able to get back up after you fall into depression?

I just don't know what to do. All i know is that i can't lose him. I'd literally be fucking lost. I don't know what I'd do without him. he means the world to me. If i lost him I'd be losing my best friend and the man who was my first in everything. He's my rock and my better half. If i lost him, I'd lose everything. that's how much he means to me. I love him so god damn much that it fucking hurts...

I don't know what I'd do without him.....

Recently, I've caught him texting some girl i used to go to school with. I'm not sure that there is anything going on there's, but i don't know why he feels the need to hide his good damn phone all the fucking time.

Did i do something wrong in the relationship to cause him to text another girl?

Do i think he'd cheat on me? No.

Have i been cheated on before? Yes. And it fucking hurt like hell.

Am I afraid that i will get cheated on again? Yes. I am afraid. And it sucks because i know what being cheated on feels like. And it hurts. It feels like the one you love its taking your heart out and stomping on it only to tear it to shreds. That's why i pray and hope that it never happens again. Because i know that if it does, I'll be sent into a deep wave of depression that will be very difficult for me to get out of, even with the help of my best friend and closest family members. If it happened again, i don't know what the hell I'd do.