Bloom

Bloom (Harry Styles)

A/N

Hi, I haven't wrote in a while and I wrote this down on a whim so I hope it's not too bad. Enjoy and leave me a comment telling me what you think!

(I know it's short, I promise the actual chapters will be longer. It's just because this is kind of an intro so you can get a feel for it.)

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Introduction

The old clock is ticking in the hall and the shower is running in the bathroom and the sounds of cars zooming down the street are echoing around the room and the old record player sitting in the corner of the room is still emitting sounds of piano keys and a dog is barking outside my window and there's a phone ringing somewhere in the apartment and I'm still curled up on my bed with my duvet wrapped around me, my own Aegis.

I am the only source of silence anywhere and I still cannot wrap my mind around why that is because I have so much to say. I know it's not healthy to my already waning mental state to keep it all bottled up like this but Alyssa is the only one who will listen anyway and today isn't a good day to bother her with my tears and ruin her spirits.

Everything I had just fell apart to pieces around me and it was so perfect I don't understand what happened. I know I should get up and try to look decent for tonight but getting up means living again and I don't think I'm ready to live yet; I mean, how can you live when you feel nothing but dead inside?

My bones are aching and my chest feels as if it will collapse under the weight of all this sadness. I don't want to disappoint Alyssa on her birthday, but I don't know if I even have it in me to get out of my bed and smile for all the cameras tonight. I just want to lay here and scream. I have not cried in two days, I don't even think I am physically capable of crying anymore. The first day was filled with tears, enough of them to flood a valley.

I'm hurting so much and I can't bring myself to stand up and leave my room. I haven't even said happy birthday to Alyssa, I just couldn't pull myself together for long enough.

So I've stayed in my curled position all day, not even getting up to eat or use the bathroom. I don't care if I wither away, I don't care if I die of starvation. I'm numb to the feeling now, numb to every feeling except for the aching sadness in my bones. It's over for me, every chance and hope and dream I had is gone.

My mind is swirling with thoughts and the silence that was once eminating from me has left my control and I've become part of the noise, my mind screaming and my heart begging to stop beating.