Gone

Stay with me. please, don't go.

"Jemm, I have to. I can't do this any more."

No. No. No.

"You know I do t like you anymore. I don't have a connection like we did before."

I must have been white faced because he said "are you ok?"

Well, let's see. You are dumping me for a tall brunet with large breasts and a rich family. I doubt he loves her, he only wants her money, boobs and a pretty girl friend. Unlike me who is comfortable in my skin with sweat pants t- shirts and messy hair.

"Alright. Bye jemm."

"Don't call me that anymore. If you don't want me, you can't call me your jemm. I can be some one else's now. Not yours." I finally say to my ex matt

He has no right to call me up and have a good time and then leave me. I won't get upset because I am better than him.

He walks out the door and I watch gone leave. I could have done something, stopped him to ask why? why did you leave? but u was speechless.

Since he left more than enough to pay for the meal I decided to buy myself a milkshake as well. He's gone forever now.

After u finished my milkshake I hardly remember walking out to my car and driving home.

I am 17 and I am a pretty good student. I have As and Bs mostly( the occasional C+) I am not the prettiest girl but I'm not ugly. I think that I have a bad life. I get bullied and made fun if because I'm short and have a high pitched voice. I an also Supposedly annoying and friendless. I have friends but hate a lot of them to.

Once I got home the world fell apart. I walked if my room changed into my pj's and started sobbing until I had no tears left. I am just as bad as him I thought. Why does love hurt so much? what comes up must come crashing down and burn in the bitter end. That's my point on love, burning and slowly dying inside and out.

I used to be happy. But when we broke up I could only think if how bad I was. I started to change day by day. I started to act tougher and play mean and dirty. I wouldn't bully because I have been bullied my whole life about being short with a high voice.

(have you ever thought that the two wholes are the same word with exact opposite meaning. Hole ! an empty dug out space. Whole ! a heart filled with love. Two examples.)

I started to stand up for myself not be knocked down. I made a thick wall around myself covered in one fake image of myself. That I was happy,strong,tough and perfect. I was only trying to barracked my self from the outside world so j couldn't be broken any more. Because after that day, I felt worthless, like no one wanted me.

I can't see what's wrong with me. Am I not pretty enough? Ircool enough?

"Emma, are you ok?"

No.

"Yes I'm fine." I say

No I'm not.

"Try and focus."

I do my work and j know what I'm doing. Stop telling me what I'm not doing.

"Ok. I'll try."

No.

I am not ok.

When I get home almost every day,i cry. I cry until I can't cry anymore, until I an just lost in my thoughts of a better world. A world where I am a warrior princess, fighting battles to save lives, a rebel,a strong fighter. A warrior princes. My kind of girl.