It's raining tonight.
I like the sound of rain. The tiny droplets of water hitting the ground, or the window, or the grass makes their own little song. It's almost like the clouds are trying to ease us into some sort of false security before they drown us with massive floods. Little drums of war courtesy of Mother Nature sounding right outside my window whilst I'm curled up under the duvet in the safety of my bedroom...
Yeah. That's right. I'm still sleeping alone. I'm still holed up in my little room without him at night. I still have to fall asleep without the comfort of his arms around me. I haven't woken up to the rhythm of his heart in so long now. And I still haven't kissed him...
We've been getting closer again. The cuddles on the settee have started again. That I'm glad of, because sitting a mile away from whilst watching a film completely defies the point of watching a film with him. Why would I sit through a film without the comfort of his embrace? It's a ridiculous concept, yet one that I'd been living in for a while. And now that it's back to normal, I don't know how I ever did it.
But kissing him hasn't changed. We haven't reached that stage yet. Most likely my fault, and I'm seriously contemplating breaking that taboo that seems to be looming over us. I miss him too fucking much to worry about all those things that worried me before. I just want to kiss him again. End of story.
A flash illuminates my room, landing finally on my massive grin. Storms! I fucking love them. They're a reflection on my moods at the worst of times, and it's always so refreshing to listen to them. I love the loud noises that they create. The booming claps of thunder along with the blinding bursts of lightning. And if I'm really lucky, the downpour of rain that sounds like gunfire. Yes. I never feel out of place in a storm. Two destructive forces in the same place is dangerous, and it's the only time that I like the prospect of danger.
Sure enough, the sky vibrates as thunder rolls through the night. I squirm happily under my duvet, feeling my toes curl with anticipation. I love this. This is immense. This is...
“Alex!”
The scream pierces through my happy place, forcing me to bolt upright. Before I can truly register where the sound came from, my door slams open with incredible force. The bed shakes with the terror of the shadowy figure as they clamber under my covers. And as their arms lock around me in a vice like grip, I feel a cold face bury into my neck. What the...
“Mark?”
But I get no response to the question. Another earth-shattering roar of thunder cuts any logical answer out. Instead, I get an anguished scream followed by hysterical sobbing. His arms tighten around me, if it's possible to get any tighter than they were, and his entire body trembles with immense fear.
He's scared...
“Mark, mate...”
I look up at the door to see Danny stood there, concern etched onto his face as he peers into my room. But the second his eyes land on the both of us, it relaxes somewhat. He breathes out a nervous chuckle, nodding almost as if to give me permission. But why would I need permission for this? Mark came to me. I don't need permission for anything in regards to him. I wrap my arms around his back, rubbing the knots of his tense muscles gently to try and soothe him.
“Shh,” I breathe. “Calm down.”
“Make it stop,” he sobs into my shoulder. “Please make it stop.”
I can feel the apprehension coming from the doorway. How will Alex cope with a terrified man? How will she comfort him? Will I have to cut in? All those thoughts hit me in the face. And that only makes me more determined.
