In My Eyes {Jesse's POV}

{1} In My Eyes~Prom Night

{1} In My Eyes

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April 19th, 2008

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What is love, exactly?

That's what I've been wondering ever since I met Jordan Emery.

Never had I seen someone so breathtaking, it was surreal. Sure there were some attractive girls here and there, but no one would be as unforgettable as her.

But she wasn't mine and she could never be mine, either. Of course, because she was hooked on Dallas.

Dallas Berg. Just hearing his name made me want to punch him in the face.

Jordan was obsessed with Dallas. Yes, obsessed.

She claimed she was "madly in love with him", and she was the happiest person in the world when that bastard asked her to the prom. She was willing to do anything (or almost) whereas he still sees her as a little girl who just looks up to him. He never treated her anything more than a friend. Dallas should've seen her feelings, a deaf man could, but Dallas is just plain stupid.

I always knew Jordan would eventually get crushed by him. Positive. It's not that Dallas is a horrible guy, he just makes bad decisions.

Like asking Jordan to the prom then crushing her heart afterwards, not smart.

As soon as I saw her breaking down, I knew it was that guy. He had hurt her, and it didn't piss me off as much as it did hurt me.

I've been telling myself to snap out of it for almost half a year. Stop getting so lovesick over a girl. But I never succeed.

It hurt me that here she was, bawling her eyes out over a guy she's been obsessing over or the past year, or more. I knew I could treat her better. I would never take advantage of her in that way. Dallas treated her like a little girl, which wasn't what she deserved. In her eyes, Dallas was her "knight in shining armor" while I was some "perverted wise-ass jerk". But in my eyes Dallas was the jerk.

I was just walking home from the gang shit when I remembered that the public school prom was going on. Without thinking, I found myself walking over there to see how the Jordan was doing.

When I get close, I'm stopped by loud sobs. I see a girl in a small, tight purple dress leaning against the wall bawling her eyes out. From being the weird person I am, the figure looked similar to Jordan, or at least what I could see of her. Same hair, same thing she does when she's upset, and she'd wear that for sure. Especially for Dallas...

As I got closer, I did recognize the figure as her. I guess she heard me as her head whipped over from her knees to where I was standing above her.

"Emery?" I asked her, I had no idea why she was crying. "You really are following me," She muttered under her breath. Technically, I wouldn't call that a lie, but I just stopped by for a second. I'm no stalker!

It didn't help her that she continued wiping her face, already tear-streaked. I was patiently waiting for her to answer, which she probably wouldn't. "What happened?" I asked her cautiously and calmly, I didn't need her freaking out right now.

"It's your fault!" Jordan boomed. Well, keeping her calm clearly didn't work. She jumped up, surprising me but not enough so my facial expression would change. "It's all your fault that this happened! It's all your fault!" She almost screamed. Why was this my fault? I didn't even know what was going on.

"Whoa, Emery, what the hell happened?" I seriously was beyond confused. She's blaming these recent events on me, and I didn't even know what was happening.

"Dallas used me. He asked me to this stupid prom just so Trinity would see us and get jealous. I spent hours getting ready, trying to look perfect for him, and he just throws it all away and ditches me for his ex-girlfriend! That's what he wanted all along! That was all he wanted! He never liked me, he just saw me as a way to get back with Trinity! If it wasn't for you, Trinity would've never broken up with him and Dallas would have never used me!" Jordan ranted.

I felt that I should have gotten angry at her, but I didn't. She's blaming it on me, when she was the one who liked Dallas!

I was definitely angry with Dallas, though.

I hated him for taking advantage of Jordan. I never felt like I wanted to smash someone into rubble before, until this situation with Dallas came along. He had Jordan begging on her knees for a chance when he'll never love her and I have to work my ass off for one decent conversation between us. Overall, Dallas Berg was now permanently labeled an asshole to me.

I tried staying calm, fortunately succeeding. "You gotta calm down, Emery." I squatted beside her, staring at her smudged face. It made me want to rip Dallas into shreds.

I just wished she got all dressed up for me. I was hoping that I would be the one to hold her and tell her she means the world to me. I wanted to be the one who told her that she deserved better. It was my dream to tell her that I would never be able to live without her, and that she's the most beautiful girl in the world.

But I couldn't. I had to keep up in the act of being her sworn enemy.

"Just go away, Jacobsen." She snapped.

Jacobsen. I was getting tired of my own last name.

"Just leave me alone. You've ruined my life enough already! Just get out of here and leave me alone!" Jordan continued angrily. I didn't budge. Did I really ruin her life? I never meant anything what I said! Even though I knew she just wanted to be left alone, just to clear her mind, I was most certainly not going to let her walk home by herself late at night alone.

"How are you getting home?" I asked now. I was not going to let her walk home, at least not alone. Gangs are probably lurking in alleys at this time, and if not entire gangs, dangerous members are always looking for danger.

She shrugged, "I'll walk home, I guess." I shook my head, "No, not by yourself." I grabbed her elbow and put both of us into a standing position. Our proximity was so close, if either one of us moved a bit, our lips would have touched. But Jordan didn't notice that at all. Instead, she ripped her elbow away from my grasp. "Why do you even care?" She demanded.

The urge to tell her my real feelings was beyond belief. I wanted to tell her everything. From when I spilled ice cream on her shirt to when I made Trinity and Dallas break up. But no, I had to keep my stupid feelings locked up.

Instead of blurting out every single feeling I had towards her, I bit my tongue and hoped she would listen to me. She did, somehow, and we made it to her house without any words being spoken and no hurtful exchanges.

"Thanks," Jordan mumbled, probably not meaning anything, "I felt safer not walking alone."

I nodded and backed away, leaving her some personal space. She responded with a nod and pushed the door slowly open then disappeared behind the thick wood.

As I walked home, all I could think about was Jordan. Hell, all I ever thought about was Jordan.

I just wanted to be happy. And the only way I could be happy was if she loved me back. And was that ever going to happen?

Never in a million years.

 

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I apologize if the spacing is a little bit weird, I can't help it. Anyways, for all of you , I hope you like it :)

This is the first  chapter of MP13Girl's story (if you click the button that says 'External Link' it'll be there) and I hope it's not too bad :-/

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