The Start of Something New

"Avery!"

I refused to answer to somebody who wouldn't believe me. He wouldn't know what it is like to be lonely. To feel unwanted.

"Avery!!" Dr. Jamison pounded once more on the wooden table.

I gathered my things and walked out not saying a word but slamming the door right behind me.

As I was leaving the building a tear fled from my eye. I wiped it away trying to disguise the fear that was building up inside of me.

The adrenaline in my body was rising as I forced my front door open and running straight to my room. I striked the door and slid down my wall as tears submerged from my face. The sight of the crash was replaying through my head. How was I supposed to live with someone I couldn't live with out? To lose someone who I loved the most? Horrible thoughts began to fill my mind. Things such as how most people would cut to cure their pain.

I slowly stepped towards my desk and shuffled through the drawers looking for any sharp object. My eyes were laid on the wooden pocket knife that was sitting in the corner of the top drawer. I picked it up and set it in the palm of my hand and looked at it for a good 30 seconds before sliding the blade out. I moved it closer to my wrist. The blade was touching my skin but hasn't effected me yet.

With a sudden move I dropped the blade to the floor. I crashed down into tears with my head resting on both palms. I was beginning to feel dizzy and my eyes were suddenly sealed shut.

'Avery' was being repeated in my head and developed getting louder. My eyes opened to see the sight of Jamie kneeled down beside me. She pulled me into a tight hug. I let the tears fall from my eyes.

"Are you ok? What happened? Why is there a knife?" She questioned.

"I-I don't know." I stuttered.

"You should get some sleep." She insisted.

"Ok." Was all I could say.

Jamie was my best friend. She was the one other thing that I couldn't live without. She has blonde hair and hazel eyes. She was gorgeous.

"Can you stay the night?" I blurted out just as she was starting to walk out.

"Yeah." She stated as she helped me into bed.

I wasn't feeling too well so I slept in what I was wearing. When Jamie was around I felt safe and calm. I was running things over in my head. I realized that I can't be miserable forever. It would only make me weaker. My eyes got heavier and soon enough I was asleep.

The aroma of eggs and bacon filled the house. I sat up and stretched out my arms before getting out of bed. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen where the main source of the smell was coming from.

"You really didn't have to." I stated.

"Well if I want food then yeah I did." She declared.

I let out a small chuckle.

"How do you feel about a swim later on?" I requested unsure of what she may think.

"Seriously?" She said shockingly.

"Last night I realized that I can't live like this anymore. Where would I get if I were to be miserable my entire life?"

She smiled at me right as she handed me my plate. We sat on the couch and scanned the channels that were on t.v.

"Kim Possible!!" Jamie shouted.

That show hasn't aired in years. It arrived as a shock to me to see it playing.

When we were done we ran upstairs to my room. I threw her my skull bikini and I grabbed the galaxy printed one for myself. I walked into the bathroom stripping down to my bare body and sliding my bikini on. I left my long black hair flowing free. As I stepped out of the bathroom Jamie stepped in. I ambled towards my desk to grab my headphones and phone. Just as I was turning away I glanced at my journal that my grandmother had given me and read:

"Why pretend like everything is ok? I have nothing to live for. It should have been me. I can't live in pain."

I grabbed my pen with one sharp motion and pressed it against the paper scribbling out every last word. I tore the paper out of my journal and ripped it into several different pieces before throwing it away. My hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"Avery? Are you ok?" Jamie struggled to let out.

"I-I honestly don't know." I responded.

She gave a slight nod. We walked downstairs and out to the back yard. I sat in the green lounge chair just near the jacuzzi that Jamie was in. I plugged my headphones in and turned on my favorite song 'Trouble' by Never Shout Never.

"Ow what the hell?!" Jamie shouted.

"What?" I retorted.

"This ball just hit me on the head."

"Um hey is anyone back there?" I heard from the other side of the gate. I grabbed the ball and marched towards the gate undoing the latch.

"Is this your ball?" I remarked.

"Maybe." They chuckled.

"Yeah ok here." I said chucking the ball at them and walking away.

"Hey wait!" Someone said while stopping the gate from completely closing.

"Can I help you?" I riposted.

"Im Kian and this is Ricky, Connor, and Jc."

"Thats nice to know!" I responded slamming the gate one last time.

"Who was that?" Jamie had asked.

"The idiots who hit you with the ball." I exclaimed.

"Oh well they were hot!" She pronounced.

"Eh sure." I uttered.

I sat back down and plugged my headphones back in letting the music take me to a different world.