me and my bf (gay)

Part 1

Well....im gonna start this by just describing myself a bit. Im a 14 y/o male, blonde, blue-greenish eyes, about ~175 cm tall and quite muscular build. My name is Philip.

Ok so.....where do i begin. First off, im not actually gay...i dont think so atleast xD but eyy....i diden't notice like, until a couple of months ago. And that is when i met Max (my future bf) he lives in germany btw. I met him online, i was playing cs go and i met him whilst playing some casual, i was doing some mic spamming. He and i started to talk with each other and stuff. And later he we created a private party and keeped talking. We gave each other our numbers and stuff and i added him on skype. I dident feel anything for him now. We played some more the day after and we really got to know each other. We played w/ each other pretty much almost every day for like a week or so. 
We became really close friends and we were planning to meet IRL. Even tho we both were only 14....i judt really liked this guy.....i dont really have alot of friends in school...thats becuase people think im gay :( and theres alot of homophobic people in my school. (Im bi btw, incase anyones wondering) so ye....i diden't had alot of friends....i still dont have alot of friends actually. I get bullied quite alot in school, infact. It has become so bad im getting anxiety by just knowing i have to go to school. And its really making me sad....anways, coming off topic. We talked about it. And he wasnt to popular in his school either, he was gay btw. So anyways when i told him that i would like to meet him IRL, he said he wanted the same. We agreed he would come visit me, here in Sweden.

2 weeks later after we had planned that he was going to visit me.

There was a late night, we were playing some cs go. And eh, we had been drinking a bit (just some beers no liqour tho) so i wasn't that drunk. I remember i started flirting with Max, like i started to tell him about my life, in school and stuff. And he told me about his aswell. I told him how much i really appreciated having him as a friend. And he said the same.

However, when we were talking and all ń all ń stuff. He said he kinda wanted to be more. Than friends...

At first, i was quite shocked, i was unprepaired for something like this, especially coming from someone who lives far away and stuff....i mean, i havent met him IRL yet...i dunno why, but i replied with something like "ye u know....i think i feel the same, i think i feel something with you, something special. Something that can't be described in words....was it love?

We went into a private lobby a bit later that same night. After we had finished the game, ofcourse.

We talked a bit, about life and stuff and that we might be more than friends...so ye, im gonna try to write more stuff soon. Im currently sick atm and i am gonna try to get some sleep.