I feel empty.. My heart feels broken and feels like it has stopped beating.. Love, was mostly my problem including being very anti-social..I'm an out cast, I'm different from everyone else just because I know very old music and old movies, liking blood and gore, just everything about me keeps people away from me most of the time. People telling me that I'm ugly, and that I'll never have my dreams come true nor meet the people I love or look up to. I wanna die, but I'm scared to kill myself or to even die naturally. My scars on my arms not seen because of putting on a simple cream medicine for cuts and what not, all because I don't want people to know to think that I'm crazy. I'm scared of having friends, I know this world isn't perfect but some people don't know how it feels to be stabbed in the back too many times or have your heart broken. As much I as I wanna die, I can't.. Cause the people that I trust and love would be let down, like I've stabbed them in the back for leaving them, soon to be anti-social and suicidal like me. And I don't want that, I want them to be happy and loved because they deserve it so much, and not sad because I have left them... I don't know if this will be my first and last entry forever, I really don't, but with the things that are happening right now it would probably be soon to others... I don't know what I want in life, I don't know if I want love or more friends I just don't know. Honestly, the horrible things that people say about me I start to slowly think that its true, what if I am ugly to the ones that I love or my dreams won't ever come true?.. Thinking that if those things are true whats the point of living anyway if I do have my dreams crushed. Like I said, I don't know if this will be the last of my writing forever, I'm only writing this because their is some people like me out there, I just want them to know that when they read this. To the people who are going through a rough time in life like me.. I love you and I don't want you to think that your not worth it. Don't let anybody bring you down. <3
-Bailey
