Dear Diary,
Today I got my first boyfriend! No one thought I ever would, but I proved those bitches wrong!
I walked up to him and said, "Yo dude ya wanna come to ma cribbb?" I usually don't talk like that but that's how guys talk so I wanted to fit in. He replied with, "Uh ya sure". So after school I tied him up with some rope and dragged him to my house. When we got home, he seemed really scared and I don't know why. So then I untied him and we went into my kitchen to get some food. He wouldn't stop telling me abiut how he wanted to go home so I taped his mouth shut. He tried to make a run for it but my pubes wrapped around him and dragged him back to me. He started to cry. Probably because I'm so romantic. I looked at him in the eye and said, "Yo dude be my bae or else I will kill you with your own dick". He looked at me in the eye (he was still crying by now) and said sure. I was so happy! I heard my mom coming so I tied him up with rope and locked him in the pantry. He's the best boyfriend ever!
Then I told him that I was born with no genital
The End!