The Start of Something New

Nice to Meet You

The last song on my playlist ended. I unplugged my headphones and sat up to scan the yard. No one was in sight so I stood up and walked inside. I went towards the kitchen and grabbed an apple that was sitting in the basket on the counter. The seasonal taste made my mouth water. Just then Jamie walked in laughing. I walked around the corner to see her with the 4 guys that hit her with the ball.

"Hey!" Kian smiled when he caught sight of me.

I gave a slight smile and walked upstairs in the opposite direction.

I roamed around my room not really thinking. I kicked something across the floor not knowing what it was. I took a step toward it and looked down. It was the knife with the blade still sticking out. I picked it up and stared at it. My eyes were starting to water up. I bit my lip and slowly trudged towards my desk and threw it back in the drawer. I felt like completely drowning myself in tears but I was trying to stay strong.

I walked downstairs to grab my phone from the counter where I had left it. I felt unwelcome and my first guess would be everyone glaring at me. I was thinking things through in my head and I realized that the harder I try to forget the worse my attitude gets.

"I never got your name." Kian stated.

"Do you have some kind of problem or something?!" I snapped.

"I-Im so sorry I didn't mean-" I was cut off.

"Its fine." He rolled his eyes.

"Kian this is Avery my best friend." Jamie declared.

"Im just gonna go. Have fun Jamie." I exclaimed.

I left back up to my room and buried my face into my pillows. I screamed at the top of my lungs hoping no one could hear. I felt like I was going to cry but I would only make a fool of myself. Music always seemed to do the trick when I wasn't in the best spot. I plugged my iphone into my amp and blasted the music listening to 'Don't Trust Me' by 3OH!3. I guess music wasn't really working this time. I sang along with the music as loud as I could. I walked to my desk and grabbed the pocket knife smiling at it. I swung the blade out and moved it towards my mid-arm.

"AVERY!!!!" Jamie screamed knocking the knife out of my hand.

I immediately burst into tears.

"Im sorry!" I claimed dropping myself to the floor and crawling up into a ball.

"Why do you keep doing this?" She barked.

"I made myself believe I was ok with it." I frowned

"I don't know what its like to feel like that but you can be happy. You just have to believe you can." She recited.

I have never attempted cutting myself this many times in 2 days. Why am I doing this to myself?

"Hide it." I said to Jamie handing her the knife.

She slowly and gently took it from my hand.

"You'll be ok! I promise." She smiled and kissed me on the forehead as she pulled me in towards her to hug me.

Jamie was like a sister to me. She was there for me through thick and thin.

"Thanks." I responded.

"Lets go out for dinner?" She questioned.

"Aren't those guys here?"

"No after you blasted your music I guess you scared them away." She chuckled.

I nodded and we grabbed our things and headed out. We decided to just go to Panera since it was just 2 blocks away. It was a silent drive and to be honest quite awkward.

"I think you should go back to that therapist. Dr. Jamison was it?" She asked.

"Don't even mention his name around me. I am not going back to him." I barked.

"Avery don't you think you're being un-"

"Unreasonable! Ha never." I howled.

"At least get a new therapist?" It got me thinking and I wasn't sure if I felt comfortable with it.

"I don't know." I said.

"If I find a trustworthy therapist would you go?"

"Sure." I replied.

I have always had this trust issue with everyone and I never seem to lose the habit.

Just then we pulled up to the Panera parking lot. I wasn't really hungry and I haven't been in a while. I was just losing my appetite. I didn't order much just a Frontega Chicken sandwich and a Lemonade. We sat down at a booth while we were waiting for our order. I stared out the window at the many cars. I turned around and leaned my head against the window. I pulled out my phone to check the time. Ugh only 7:20.

"142 your order is ready."

I walked up to grab our food. The smell from the food was making me hungry. I haven't had Panera in so long. I haven't had much of anything besides soup and crackers. Yes soup and crackers and sometimes cereal when I wasn't feeling it.

It was 9:45 by the time we got home because Jamie had to pick up some stuff from the store. I was exhausted and the only thing I wanted was my bed. I grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt from my drawer. I walked into the bathroom to change and brush my teeth before finally climbing into bed. I felt like my bed taught me how to love and if I could I would most likely marry it too. I soon started to drift off.

Ow. I woke up at 3 a.m. realizing that I had just fell off my bed. I let out a long sigh. Screw it. I pulled the blanket from my bed and left myself lying on the floor.

It was 10 a.m. by the time I finally got up. I felt completely disgusting after not showering yesterday. I walked to my bathroom and turned on the shower to start warming it up and left to my bedroom and grabbed my high wasted shorts and my black skull muscle tee.

I got in the shower and watched the drips of water slide down my body. The warm water felt good against my skin. I grabbed my strawberry kiwi shampoo and washed my hair following with conditioner and then my body. I wrapped the towel around my frozen body and dried myself off. I slid my clothes on and blow dried my hair. I put it into a side braid so I didn't bother to straighten it. I applied some mascara, eyeliner and some chap stick for my chapped lips.

I checked out my window to see the sun shining. I was in the mood for a walk to get some fresh air. I got my white vans and went to grab my phone and headphones before heading out. The park was only a block away so I decided to walk. I plugged my headphones in and started to walk in circles around the park.

"So are you stalking me now?" I heard a voice come up from behind me.

I turned my head over my shoulder to see Kian not too far from me.

"Kian." Was all I could manage to say.

"I am so so sorry for yesterday. Its been kind of rough on me I didn't mean what I said." I pronounced.

"Uh yeah its fine." He rolled his eyes.

It didn't look like he was too happy after I had mentioned it. I wasn't sure whether to carryout a conversation or be a complete coward and just tell him bye.

"So how long have you been my neighbor?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Not long. Me and the guys just moved in about a month ago." He responded.

"Cool! Well I guess I will see you around?"

"Yeah." He replied.

I walked around for about a half hour more before heading home.

"Hi Avery! Its nice to see you again!" Mrs. Thomas smiled.

"You too! Have a great day!" I shot back a smile as I passed by her house.

So far today was a good day. Time to see how long it would last. I walked in my front door and straight to the kitchen. I made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Hmm it was weird I was willing to eat something different than the past 7 months. I heard a quick 3 knocks on the door.

"Its the police open up!" They shouted.

Shit.