Black hearts (on hold for until 24/06/17)

v

UNEDITED

Lily woke up on a warm chest. Not being able to move with strong arms encircled around her petite frame she decided to look at him. Look at him for the first, without her demons. Not the Alpha and the ex-phoenix. Just Theo and her. He had messy black hair which gave him the bad boy look. His eyes were closed but she knew they had the same color of his hair. His nose was slightly crooked meaning he had surely broken his nose several times. His round, full lips were parted making Lily want to kiss them. Kiss him. He was handsome. Her type of handsome.

"Go back to sleep" he whispered while tightening his hold on her gently.

"I can't" she whispered back not knowing how to act.

Hours ago she had a crazy fit, her demons taking hold of her.
Theo sighed but didn't object, opening his eyes, revealing a black ocean.

"You are beautiful"Lily blurted. Her cheeks reddened from embarrassment.

Theo chuckled and for a moment everything was forgotten. No werewolf world. No demons. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just Theo and Lily. This is when Lily realised that she envied humans. Yes, they were weak but their life was simple, normal, ordinary. They could do anything and everything while in this world it's more complicated. Power is the trigger of everything. She realised how arrogant she was before losing her phoenix. She was arrogant and powerful. Strong. But now, being human means being weak. And she wondered for a moment if she could handle her demons while being human.

"Lily?" he asked, worried.

Lily looked back at his beautiful eyes. She was crying. For the first time in years, Lily was crying. And somehow she couldn't make it stop. What was the defining of strong? Not crying? Pretending to be fine? Being arrogant? She couldn't trust her own self. She had spent years trying to tame them, to appear normal.How long was she going to torture herself and others. She's not alone anymore. Theo was part of her life too. Whether she wanted it or not. But boy did she want him. She couldn't be selfish. Not when it implied others.
Her head now rested on Theo neck, inhaling his scent. Burying her neck further, she sighs in content and calmness.

"I'm not fine" she mumbled knowing that he heard her.

"It's okay flower, i'm here."

****

"Do we have to go to the doctor? I hate them." argued Lily while playing with Theo's hair. She wasn't able to left his side since the morning. She didn't want to. She couldn't as if Theo was her addiction. Lily was surely his addiction. Her scent calmed him and excited him at the same time. However he was afraid. The big, bad Alpha was scared to lose his mate. He didn't know the feeling that he felt whenever she was with him. It was bittersweet.

"Lily"he warned her.

"I can start a healthy diet by myself I don't need a doctor to do it."

God was she stubborn, he thought a smile playing on his face.

"Are you scared of doctors?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"No." she responded back not missing a beat.

"They are just scary." she mumbled under her breath.

Theo was now smiling, his perfect straight teeth showing.

"You know you are kind of rude. It's not funny to mock people." she was now smiling too.
He shaked his head, kissing her cheek before starting the car.

"Stop it"

"You love it."

"Drive, Theo."

The doctor was an old man. Grey hair, lot of wrinkled and creepy if you asked her. Lily instantly disliked him, taking Theo's hand to reassure herself. Theo was the only person she trusted at the moment. He didn't left her when he was her demons. He stayed with her and calmed her several times without losing his patience. It might seem fast but she was in a weak state. She was on the verge of losing it. Theo was her anchor.

"Hello, Alpha, Luna." the doctor greeted them a smile, a creepy one if you asked Lily's opinion.

"I'm here for my weight" stated Lily, not wanting this visit to take forever. She wanted to be at Theo's bedroom, sleeping, surrounded by his scent.

"I see."

After a battery of tests, Lily could finally breath. But she needed him. Theo was sitting on a chair, in Alpha mode, answering the phone and giving orders.

"Theo?" she called him softly making him look into her brown eyes. Her chocolate eyes. Standing, he walked to her, his eyebrows furrowed. He suddenly felt it. Her warmth. Her scent. Her body. She was hugging him. He hugged her back, resting his chin on her head, closing his eyes for a moment. His wolf was finally at peace.

"Sorry to interrupt Alpha and Luna but I have the results. Now Lily I want you to stay focus and listen. You are 40 kg for 5 feet 3. You are severely underweight, malnourished and i'm surprise you are still able to walk. I need you to give me your diet so I can help you."

Lily shook her head, it was too intimate. She didn't feel in control and she hated it.

"What happens if she doesn't gain any weight?" Theo growled.

"There is a high risk of miscarriage or her being steril. Fainting. Broken bones. Her organs will stop functioning correctly and she might die."

"I fast at least three times a week. And the only meal that I eat is lunch. The meal must not be over 400 calories. I don't eat anything that is not vegetables, fruits and milk." Lily said with a small voice. She needed to selfless.

The doctor nodded while Theo tighten his hold on her. She was making an effort. She was trying. And for now, this was enough.

"Can I know why you have pocrescophobia ?"

Lily hesitated before answering.

"When I was younger I was chubby. Really chubby. When I grew up I started realising how fat I really was, mainly because my mother used to tell me that everyday. When I was sixteen, I was tired of being fat and reminded of it so I started losing weight until was satisfied."

"Do you know the difference between curvy and fat?"

"It's the same. Curvy is just an aesthetic word for fat."

"Curvy means having curves while being at an healthy weight whereas fat means obese or overweight. From the structure of your bones, I can see that you have curves and it's not a bad thing. But I think your fear of gaining weight is great and you will need help. I recommend you to eat as much as you can, at least three meals a day. You will come to my office once a week for weekly schedule. Is that alright with you?"

"She will, don't worry doc."

Lily didn't know who she was anymore. Everything was changing swiftly making it impossible for her to stop it. Stop the change. Because, at the end of the day, her biggest fear was change. Change is scary. You always lose and somehow you always win. Everything was going to fast. Her relationship with Theo. The loss of her phoenix. Her demons. She felt overwhelmed, scared, angry and stupid. One thing she knew for sure was that her demons will always catch her, no matter how hard she tries to run from it.