A Mother's Plight

The grandfather clock in the hall dinged twice indicating the change in hour. Crickets chirped incessantly on the background. But except for those, the house was plunged into deadly silence. Every single person of the house was on their respective bed, trying to fall asleep in this restless night.

Except for one. Her. She sat on the bed beside her son. Her darling son, for whom she could do anything, the one who she loved most, lay lifelessly on his bed. He wasn't just sleeping. He was out cold, incoherent and depressed to the point of delusions.

Sujata kept on caressing his hair. Those lucious locks were damp, gritty and filthy. Must be from river. Laksh had told that Sanskaar, not so surprisingly, had dived into water after Swara. Her dull and tired eyes refused to close. How was a mother to sleep when the child was is so much pain? If only god had provided some means to mother to take away her childs pain. She stared blankly into the space on the wall straight ahead.

Life and God hadn't been fair to her. She was a small village girl married off to younger son of Krishna Prasad Maheshwari. Always shadowed by her regal Sister-in-law, she had turned more vocal to balance out her usually compliant husband. Since her husband, Ram Prasad Maheswari, was usually quiet and subservient to his brother, she had decided to be the one to raise her voice. Else her children could be left out. She was mother after all.

Sanskaar, apple of her eye, was born few years into the marriage and she had raised him with doting care. Maybe tad to the point of spoiling. It was a miracle that he didn't turn out to be brat like Laksh. He had grown up beautifully. She could be labeled as partial mother, but no one could argue that she loved her son more than Uttara.

Her world had came into crashing halt with Sanskaar's death 6 years ago. In an act of rebellion for his love, he had left home and in few days news of his death had hit her like tons of bricks. She had been inconsolable. She had not passed out or had any episode of heart-attack like her jijji had when Laksh went to jail, but she had mourned. She was still amazed that she had not reacted dramatically like her usually poised sister-in-law. She was cut out of entirely different cloth afterall.

She watched with scathing glare as her brother-in-law behaved indifferently to the news of her son's death and refused to perform his last rituals. She watched with loathe as Laksh continued to party till dawn within few days of his 'bhai's' death. She watched with growing contempt as her sister-in-law sobbed whereas she had not raised a single voice for her son when there was time. She watched with cold measuring look as they quickly forgot her son and expected her to move on.

She wanted to scream and claw at those people. They did not know her sorrow. They had not lost the child. She had. How could they expect her to move on from her son's death? Don't they know, a mother can never move on from her child's demise? If she had been a witness? If she had had to watch her son die? Her heart might have had given up right then and there. No mother should go through this. No mother should be cursed to outlive her child. And she was that unfortunate one.

For next 5 years she watched her nephews like hawk. She did not wish her plight on any mother still she couldn't help but wish atleast half her pain upon her bhaisa and jijji. She waited with bated breathe for Laksh to commit some crime in her bhaisa's eyes to throw him out. Maybe then they would feel an ounce of her pain. But He had come back.

Sanskaar came back. Insane.

If Sanskaar's death was painful, his insane state was hell. She had to watch her fully grown son regressed. The one who should be ruling the business world, her brilliant Sanskaar, couldn't even talk properly. He had to be bathed, fed, dressed, practically done everything for. He was totally dependent on others for smallest of things.

For few seconds there, she thought maybe death wasn't so bad afterall. Maybe then he would be spared of this pain. She had cried for days. This was not her Sanskaar.

Her Sanskaar was the one who topped in academics. Her Sanskaar used to box to vent out his frustrations and was champion of his age group. Her Sanskaar was the one who liked to sing jovially for the sake of singing. Her Sanskaar was the one to kiss her cheek before going out of the house.

That man with child's brain was merely a shadow of his former self.

Then it turned out that he was acting. For whatever absurd reason of his. Blinded by the pain, she helped him. Forgetting the role of mother, she did not hold him back. What if he leaves again? She did not want to go through that again. So she tossed the caution to the wind and helped him in his quest of revenge. And she got an opportunity to hurt her jijji through Laksh too.

Apparently Swara Bose happened to her son and he fought tooth & nail to be the Sanskaar she missed. It did take her time but eventually she approved of her son's choice. Lots of ups and downs later her Son was finally happy with her daughter-in-law. Mother in her was content of this. Her son and daughter-in-law had finally gotten what they deserved.

And her happiness was short lived. As she sat there caressing her unconscious son's hair, she refused leave him alone, Swara, beloved wife of her son, her darling daughter-in-law had gone missing. They had made a mistake in understanding Rajat's facade and in an attempt to try to save Uttara, her Swara had gone missing and her son had gone into shock.

Sanskaar was in denial. Hell, she herself was in denial. She absolutely refused to believe that Swara could be dead. If there was any kind of higher magic bonding soul-mates, it must have bonded Swara and Sanskaar together. If her son was alive, so was Swara. It was just matter of time till she comes back. She always does.

But the moot point is, will Sanskaar be able to hold himself together till that moment? Her Sanskaar loved Swara with fierce passion. Loved her wholly and unconditionally. As expected, he couldn't bear the shock. The world could come crashing down on her feet but Swara could not leave behind Sanskaar. She just hoped that her daughter-in-law would be back soon. Who knows how long Sanskaar could hold onto his Sanity.

Right now her son could be resting but soon enough, he'll wake up, expecting Swara to come barreling in the room and splash some cold water on his face. His eyes would search for his Swara in the halls. He would call out for her to get him his breakfast. And she dreaded that. Because when he will ask for her, she had no answers. She dreaded that moment when she'll have to answer his unspoken questions.

But she was a mother. She'll have to be his backbone when the weight of Swara's disappearance will finally weigh him down tomorrow. She was a mother and she'll go through every imaginable and unimaginable pain to safe guard her son. Swara was coming back and until then the mother will have to come out of retirement.

She was a mother and she was determined to keep her son with herself this time...