The Beauty of Despair (Book 1 of 3)

Chapter 1

PICTURE OF AVA ON SIDE------->

The woman standing before me was a stranger. She stood stock still before me, in a pair of yoga pants and her bra. Splotches of purple, brown, and yellow tattooed her once creamy skin. Her shoulders were hunched forward submissively. The dull, haunted look in her velvety brown sloe-eyes only added to her chalky, gaunt face. Bee stung lips that once always held a smile, now frowned as she studied me right back. Hesitantly her small, delicate hand rose to her long, wheaten flowing hair. She was the reincarnation of death itself and I felt my heart racing in anticipation. A familiar, gruff voice came out through the bathroom door.

"Ava Baby, you almost done in there?" My eyes never left the woman and I watched in horror as her lips moved in sync with mine, her voice matching mine perfectly.

"Yeah Tony. I just need to find a shirt." Scrambling quickly, I found one of Tony's old, long-sleeved, college shirts and threw it on. It hung on my petite frame loosely and I timidly stepped out of the bathroom. A sinewy, large arm wrapped around my torso and I bit back a cry as it pressured against my bruises. My back hit a firm chest and a strong jaw with scratchy stubble that brushed against my neck.

"Hey Baby, what took so long?" Twisting slowly in his arms, I rested my hands on Tony's chest. He smiled down at me and I returned it, staring into his unusually affectionate, hazel eyes. Brushing back his sandy hair, I replied softly.

"I wanted to find one of your t-shirts. I know how you like it when I wear them." Chuckling, Tony pressed his lips firmly against mine. Out of habit, I kissed him back but not fiercely like I used to. His hands roamed my body as I let my arms wind around his neck. This was the Tony I'd fallen in love with, the passionate and gentle one. Yet, even as he carried me to the couch, I felt a twinge of disgust ravage me. When my back hit the cushions I broke away and whispered breathlessly.

"I need to go to work Tony." Groaning in frustration, Tony pecked my lips again and lifted himself off of me.

"Alright, do you need a ride?" Grabbing my purse and keys, I smiled sweetly.

"No thanks. I'm alright to drive." Once more he pulled me in firmly to give me a hard kiss. I'd learned a long time ago that he never kissed me to show affection. He kissed me to remind me that he's in charge and I belong to him.

"Okay, be home on time." It wasn't a farewell tiding either, it was a warning. Nodding, I dropped my eyes and quietly shut the door to our apartment. Tony and I have been together for four years, lived together for three, and he beat me whenever I got out of line for three and a half. I've made thousands of excuse for him; I mean after all, what other man could love me? I was lucky to have Tony. He wasn't always abusive anyways. Sometimes, like today, he was affectionate and tender. Reaching my old Impala, I plopped down into the driver's seat. The rumbling of the engine drowned out my thoughts as I mindlessly drove to the grocery store. I worked in the garden department and being springtime, our business was in full bloom so to speak. Parking swiftly, I grabbed my apron with my nametag and tied it as I jogged in the side door. Gale, my coworker and best friend, smiled at me as I came rushing in. She was ringing up several flowerpots for an elderly woman and I continued on towards the punch-in machine. I was already fifteen minutes late and would be docked for the entire hour but when I reached for my card, I realized it had already been punched. Smiling to myself, I shook my head.

"Thanks Gale."

"Just now getting in Ms. Jordans?" Swiveling tightly, I smiled innocently to see Mr. Jarobi, my boss. He was a short, round-faced man with a perpetual tight smile. His head was bald and shiny as if he waxed it fresh each morning. If nothing else, he was a tolerant man, even though he tried to act stern.