We've sown and now we reap. We've lost two amazing men and Rick is so determined to storm back in for Daryl. I knew Carl and Judith were now awake and even maybe the whole block but that didn't seem to keep me from screeching across the house. He took it and finally, after four years, he's yelling back. Fighting isn't a thing Rick and I do. We disagree and argue but fighting isn't normal. I stood in front of our bedroom door blocking him from leaving. He growled at me to move away from the door and I didn't. It only made things worse when he began blaming me for Daryl "He would be here right now if you would have kept your mouth shut, but no! You never fucking listen and look where it got us!"
"Now it's my fault?! Fine, Rick," I pushed him back from me and ripped the door open "if you want to go and get yourself killed that's fine with me. I'm done. I'm so goddamn done with this and you." I let him storm out of the room and I slammed the door shut.
I watched the door, hoping he'd come back but he never did. I heard his boots across the living room floor as he paced angerly. His soft mumbles muffled by the door. I let out my breath and began to cry. Leaning against the door and sliding down I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face half way. I was so angry with myself for crying, knowing that I was only crying because of him. I was worried for him and he wanted to strike on Negan now.
Oh god... Did I just break up with him?
It hurt more now know that he think's I don't love him anymore and he wants to go. I know he's mad and I know it's best to keep my distance; especially if it's me he's mad at. I slowly crawled into bed and listened to him settle. He sat down and that seemed to be the end of it. I took a deep, rigid breath and calmed myself down, telling myself he wasn't leaving tonight. I forced my eyes shut and let myself fall asleep.
-
I woke when I heard a thump at the bedroom door and a small string of swears to follow. The low, grumbly voice I knew was Rick instantly. I rubbed my eyes free from the dried tears. I propped myself on my elbow and listened to his incoherent babbles from the other side of the door. My mind clicked back to just a couple of hours ago and I knew he'd most likely be upset. I hesitated. Contemplated on going out to talk to him; to make sure he's okay by himself while drunk. Or maybe to just keep to myself but really we're fighting because of him.
I got up and went to the door and pressed my ear to it to see if I could perceive a small bit of what he was saying. All I was able to make out was a few muffled slurs and shuffling. I twisted the handle held the door closed as his force was pushing it in.
"Woops..." a very drunk Rick grumbled, "...damn door...always..." he went on to curse the door and sat up and lean against the door frame. I sheepishly stepped out and sat slowly next to him. a moment a silence swept by as we stared at the wall in front of us. Rick, one hand rested on his knee and the other lazily gripped a vodka bottle. I brought my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them. I felt bad for yelling. For screaming at him but I know I can't take any of it back and maybe that's what hurts the most. I can't go back and use that time for comforting him and being there for him. But it could be good that it happened. That might be just what he really needed. Someone to blame even if he doesn't mean it.
I pulled my blanket from under me and cautiously scooted towards him and tucked the blanket around his tummy and lay it over my lap. Rick looked down at me with the softest gaze I promised I've ever seen from him. It could just be him being drunk but I just wanted us to be okay again. So I'm taking his look as love. Soon I knew I was right; he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against my head and he took a deep breath. "I didn't mean it," he said lowly and slow. "I didn't. I love you." He said again setting the bottle down and taking my hand in his. "I love you so much... so much." He pulled me closer to him so we were hip to hip.
"Your breath stinks." My face scrunched.
"I know, but I love you." he said.
"You said that," he whined at my short response. Unsatisfied with the cold reply he pursed his lips and groaned. "Amy." he drug out my name and hugged on me tighter.
"What do you want?" I whispered caressing his cheek. "Kisses." he matched my tone and kissed me. My face twisted from the smell and taste of the vodka on his lips and pushed me back. "I'm sure it's time to get you to bed."
-
Guys!!! I can't wait because next chapter something will happen that hasn't ever happened for Rick & Amy and it'll happen canonically!!! (If that's the right word???)
-Becca
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Fitzpleasure - Rick Grimes (Book 2)
Fanfiction*Book 2 for The Hanging Tree!* The journey continues for Amy and Rick. This book starts off from when Carl looses his eye. The group is still in Alexandria and will face Negan and his saviors. Also, they will face the Whisperers. - I wanted to see h...
