"I.. I did love you."
We just stood there looking at each other. She just looked at me so disappointed. "Did?..." Her eyes watered like a sad puppy. I just couldn't believe I said that to her. Quickly I tried to correct my self but nothing came out. The stupid person I am, I said. "I'm.. Sorry." She gave me this 'What the hell?' kind of look. "Are you fucking kidding me right now. Is that all? You give me a stupid apology. Why don't you at least tell me you love me or-" I quickly Interrupted. "Nicole, I'm sorry. Okay. I do love you! Your my girlfriend. And we've been through everything together." She cried and looked down. I knew she was trying not to, I knew her to well. She stomped down the hallway in her underwear and Black Veil Bride T-shirt. I watched her as she gathered her things around the house. "Nicole.. Where are you going?!" I teared up, I don't even know why I asked. Because I knew she was leaving me, it was pretty obvious, it didn't surprise me. Although.. it did hurt. "Where do you think. Anywhere where your not. And don't just expect this all this to be over, we're done. I obviously never mattered to you, I'm not going to be with someone who doesn't care about me. And now, well, that's that." God. I just sat there And listened, to her go on. It was just proving that SHE NEVER loved me. Because if she did she'd get over it and move on. "Fine." I said. "I don't want to be with you. Because you never Loved me! And if you fucking did you would just forgive me, Okay. I made a stupid mistake. It was stupid. But it never mean't I didn't love you. So just leave..Please." I just crushed into a million pieces having to say that. Because I didn't really want her to leave, but if she wants to. I don't give a fuck. So be it. She looked at me with a suit bag in her hand about to walk out the door. "Just leave! You obviously don't give a shit about me. And your never forgiving me. I could just go kill myself and I bet you would just leave." Nicole started to do her pissed off face. "You know, fine. I'll leave but don't expect me to answer your calls. Or talk to you ever again." I did this sarcastic smile. "Shut the door on your way out. Thanks." I walked off to 'our' room and sat on the bed, in a way I was really sad, no wait.. I was really sad. I heard her Jeep pull out of the driveway. I stood up and paced around the house, I'm very uptight right now. Ugh, I was getting so mad at myself! why am I such a stupid person. I sat on the couch, and fell asleep. I woke up and felt this vibrating on my foot. Tearing up the blankets on the couch I found my phone. ":Tommy is Calling" Quickly I answered the phone.. "Hello?.." I asked then coughed to clear my throat. "Effy.. What happened with you and Nicole... She called me crying her eyes out. Saying you hated her." I sighed, because this was all a bunch of shit. "Okay, look. I never said I hated her.. I made a mistake and she was going to leave me. I told her to stay and then she said some shit to me, I'm not trying to point fingers okay. Then she obviously didn't want to stay. So I'm just like okay leave then.
Then she just left.." My voice started to break, it just hurt to talk about it. "Hun, calm down okay.. we both know how Nicole is.. She's over at my place .. she is gonna stay here. But come over you both need to talk. Never speaking to each other is not going to help." I agreed with him sniffling, it made me feel like I was the bad person. I walked out to the car playing with the keys in my hand, I started it up and pulled out of the driveway recklessly. Every red stop light was just pissing me off, I pressed my foot against the gas pedal and drove off. In the distance I saw a police car in the back, but I sped off. Finally I got up to Tommy's driveway, and saw police cars, 3 of them. I quickly ran up to the house, not even shutting the car door behind me. "Oh my God. What happened?" I said as soon as I got in. An ambulance pulled up trying to squeeze through my car and the police cars. "Effy I'm sorry.. Okay. I left Nicole unsupervised for like 5 minutes. Then I found her bleeding on the floor.." I started to tear up. "You know not to leave her alone when she's upset. She.. She will try to kill herself or do something really stupid. This is all my Fucking fault. If I wouldn't have said I didn't love her she wouldn't have tried doing this!" I ran up. And hugged Tommy tightly. "Babe, everything will be fine, Nicole will get over it. Then everything will go back to normal." Some how I had a feeling that wasn't really true.. " Are hug broke slowly, I sat on the couch and played down. I saw the paramedics bring Nicole out on a gurny I quickly stood up and started to cry the minute she went by me. "Nicole... I love you Okay! please don't leave me Again.." Seeing her dying just hurt me inside. I watched as they rolled her away on the hospital bed.
Days later I didn't get any calls from anyone. I tried to call Nicole 's phone again. "Hiiii, looks like I'm busy, I'll get back to you later, maybe! Leave a message bye!" I sighed deeply.
I just hung up I didn't bother to leave a message because I knew she wasn't going to answer.
So I just decided to call Tommy to see if He'd seen Nicole yet, I dialed his number and waited as it rang. He finally answered. "Oh my god Tommy! Have you seen Nicole or talked to her??" I was literally shaking, the palms of my hands were sweating.
"Yeah.. I'm at the hospital with her at the moment..." He was whispering. But a whole lot of weight was lifted off my shoulder, knowing she's not dead or something. "Well is she okay.. Has she said anything about me??. Is she awake?." I was just continuously asking questions, I was so scared she was going to hate me. "She's been asking for you for the past hour. She really wants to see you. It'd be nice if you came." He sounded rude when he said that. I sort of felt bad, in a way. "Oh?... I'll try to come later or tomorrow, I have things to do."
"Effy, your such a damn liar. Come if you want it doesn't matter. She wants to see you, though." He hung up slowly, and I sighed deeply. A rush of anxiety ran through my body. To be honest, I really don't want to see her. I mean I do and I don't, I don't know. Grabbing my purse, and going out the door. Down my apartment stairs, I got in my car and paused for a min. I teared up and started crying, I just started my car slowly backing out of the driveway.
About twenty minutes later, I arrived at the hospital. My heals wear clicking on the floor loudly. I got to the front desk, "Excuse me, do you know where Nicole Reedmond's room is?" She smirked at me rudely. She was an older lady with short blond hair and a Pink nurses outfit. "Room 2418, Down the hall on the left." Tommy ran up to me and hugged me, "Oh my God.. Eff! you came." I broke the hug softly. "Where's she?" I looked around and ran my hair around my ears, he looked at me and sighed. He took my hand and I followed him. We passed the halls and I looked in each room, we got tell room and I got immensely scared.. my hands started to tremble. Walking in the room looking at her, she looked almost dead, so pale.Tears streamed down my face sadly. "Nicole?..." She just stayed still. "Nicole, I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so stupid okay, and I love you... Oh my God please don't die on me, I don't know what I would do with out you. I would be lost, I would be crazy." She opened her eyes softly and coughed to clear her throat. "You already are Crazy.. I love you too."
She started gasping for air and her arms started bleeding out blood. The ventilator was beeping like crazy, nurses came rushing in. "Hey, we can't have you to in here.." Tommy and I started freaking out, "Oh my God... what's happening. " I started having a panic attack, I felt like I was dying. Tommy grabbed my hand and took me out slowly. "Get your fucking hands off of me!" the police ran in and we're trying to carry me out. I was screaming as they were removing me from the room. "Nicole live for me!! Please!"
I felt people holding me down, giving me a shot. I tried sitting up But my hands were held down. I was screaming trying to fight for myself, I woke up in a mental institution. "Where's Nicole?! Where the FUCK am I? " They took a shot and just stuck in me, I cringed from the increasing pain.
My eyes rolled into my head, like my body was in shock. I wasn't all the way together at the time but I knew this couldn't be good,
The next day I woke up and was escorted
to Dr. Hults office I had read the sign on the door, otherwise I would have had no idea. "Take a seat." He demanded, I obeyed his demand at Sat. "You do you know why your here, correct." I took and a big swallow and looked down playing with my fingers. "No... Actually I do not. I woke up being tied down by a bunch of strangers, being medicated. Back in a mental institution." I saw him take note of something and lay back in his chair. "Hm.. You know this isn't the first time you've been here. We call it public out burst. Any other person would be in Jail. But no... you are mentally unstable my friend, all we try to do here is help people do you understand?"
