I just realised how much i love Spencer and how it was a terrible mistake going with Matt, I never should of ended things with Spence i love him. But the only problem was he is with Evie now I had my chance but i’m not sure if i’ve lost him forever.
We both live at Irene’s so its hard acting like i’m not still in love with him, we do flirt sometimes but when it comes to a kiss he always stops pulls back and says “i’m with Evie now” these words kill me but theirs nothing I can do. I just want to be with him again I think I stuffed things up when I went to Matt.
I know I need to end stuff with Matt its wrong of me to be with him when I'm still on love with spencer but its just I don’t don’t know how to break up with him but its breaking my heart still being with him when i just want to be with Spencer.
Matt always says to me “your still in love with spencer I know you are stop hiding it” but I always deny it because I just don’t want it to be true but I can’t help it I just love spencer and not Matt. Tonight i’m seeing Matt i’m going to end it for once and for all.
I walk down stairs ready to leave and to meet him at the diner, as I walk down I see Spencer on the lounge. I fix myself up so he can compliment me but as I keep walking down I see Evie in the kitchen making popcorn, I nearly cried he is still with her even though the night before we nearly kissed its killing me inside but I can’t show it.
Spencer turned around because he heard a noise on the steps and whispered to me “you look amazing sash” I had a huge smile on my face and whispered back “thank you”. Evie came into the lounge room and sat next to spencer and said “where are you going, are you seeing Matt” i replied back “ yeah I am” Evelyn looked at me and had a huge smile on her face she was really happy for me and Matt but all I could think about is how much i just wanted to be back with Spence and how I just have to break up with Matt.
As I was walking out of the door I saw from the corner of my eye Spencer and Evie hugging on the lounge, I really wanted to be in Evie’s position and hugging spencer so I quickly rushed out the door to meet Matt and to end things.
I got to the diner and Matt wasn't their yet so I was waiting and waiting, I snapchated spencer saying “waiting is the worst”, he replied straight away and my face just lit up I was so excited he replied “ come back home then Evie has left” I was so excited she had left I could have some more alone time with Spencer again, I was about to reply but then Matt walked in. I quickly texted Spencer and said “Matt just came cant I'm sorry I really want to though”.
Matt came to the table I was at and went to kiss me but I turned so he kissed my check instead, I couldn’t kiss him I was about to break up with him, we were talking for 5 minutes until I said “look Matt we have to talk”. He was smiling until I said those words i don’t know how I'm going to tell him i don’t want to be with him anymore, he asked me “is this about spencer” I really wanted to say no but i wasn't going to lie to him, I nodded he then asked me “are you still in love with him” again I wanted to say no but I just nodded, I didn’t know what to say but then he held my hands and said to me “ look sash I don’t want to be with you if your still in love with your ex its over i’m sorry” I was so happy he ended it not me i didn't know what to say.
As he got up to leave i grabbed his arm and I said “i’m so sorry Matt”. I then texted spencer saying coming home be there soon. In 30 seconds i got a reply from him saying “ok I will wait up for you and bring some chocolate mud cake :)”. I knew how much he loved that cake, we eat it every time were at the diner.
I went up to the counter and got served by Irene she asked me “what can I get you girlie” I replied happily “just two big slices of chocolate mud” she gave me a look thinking it for me and Matt but it wasn't so i didn't know if i should tell her or not, she then asked me as she gave me the pieces “ are these for you and Matt” I had to tell her the truth she's letting me live under her roof and not letting me pay rent so with a sad look i replied “no we broke up”. I knew she was happy she didn’t liked Matt in the first place she then asked “who are the two slices for then” with a bit of a smile on my face i told her they were for me and Spencer.
She gave me a look, I gave her the money and I walked off. I got home and spencer was waiting up for me he asked me if I had the two slices of cake I nodded with a smile on my face, I got two spoons from the drawer and sat next to him. We were eating the cake and he asked if I broke up with matt I replied with a smile “no he broke it off with me”. Spencer had the biggest smile on his face he was so happy me and Matt were over I could just see it. We dropped the subject of Matt because he knew I didn't want to talk about it because he knew I just wanted to be with him and not Matt. Friends was on television so we decided to watch that, he knew how much I love friends, we were laughing and mucking around with the cake then he got creme on his nose. I got my thumb and whipped it off it was on my finger and I didn’t know what to do with it so he just licked it off.
He then came closer and closer to me and then we nearly kissed, he was about to pull away like the other night but he didn't he kissed me finally! We were kissing for a while then his phone went off he checked it and it was Evie, we both couldn't believe what happened we looked at each and I said “Spence you have a girlfriend we cant “he said “I know sash but” then he kissed me again as much as I wanted to kiss him I couldn’t, I couldn't betray Evie like that I pulled back and said to him “ look Spence if we want to start things up again you have to break up with Evie we can’t do this to her” he agreed with me but then we started kissing again we knew we had to stop but we couldn't he pulled back and told me tomorrow he will break up with Evie I had a huge smile on my face.
My bright red lipstick was all over his lips and we could hear someone singing, me and Spencer looked at each other and I said “Spence its Chris quick go to the bathroom and wipe your lips” spencer quickly ran to the bathroom just before Chris walked through the door, Chris walked in and said “hey sash wheres Spence” I had a huge smile on my face from just kissing him and my lipstick was everywhere but for all Chris knew I was still with Matt so we were in the clear, I replied “ I think he is in the bathroom” spencer walked out of the bathroom and said i’m going to have a shower and go to bed, I then said “i’m going to do the same night guys” he went back into the bathroom and I went upstairs, I could tell Chris had a look on his face but I don’t think he knew me and Spencer just kissed its Chris what does he know.
I walked upstairs had a shower put my pyjamas on and jumped in bed. My phone made a noise I got a text at first I thought it was going to be Matt but it wasn't it was Spencer! my face just lit up I was so happy. I read the message and it said “goodnight beautiful i’m so happy its over with you and Matt I will break up with Evie tomorrow so we can get back together love you xx” My face lit up and i replied back straight away, “Im so happy we broke up to I cant wait to start things up again once you break up with Evie tomorrow love you to xx” I heard the text message sound from Spencer’s phone downstairs from up in my room. I heard Chris yell at spencer “stop texting Evelyn and sleep” I knew the text wasn't from Evelyn it was from me so i just let it go.
I knew i was going to sleep great tonight after what just happened, I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face and hugging the pillow, I just wondered if spencer was doing the same. I then got a text from spencer saying “cant sleep just thinking of what happened i just want to be with you already” I wanted to be with spencer to but he was with Evie so we had to wait, but I couldn't wait any longer though I just wanted to be with him already so i texted him saying “see if you can sneak up in my room” I wasn't sure if I should send it because he is still with Evie but I just sent it, at this point I was so happy we kissed and we were going to get back together, I knew he probably couldn’t come up but it was worth the try.
i waited 10 minutes and he didn't reply or come up, just as I was about to give up on him coming I saw my door open, it was spencer! he jumped into bed and just hugged me he whispered in my ear “ I love you sash” I squeezed him tighter and whispered “ I love you to”.
