The Deaf and The Rich

Chapter eight...

I yawn as I wake up, back aching I sit up. Rubbing my eyes I'm pulled back down, a large arm over my stomach.

I wriggle around to face the owner of said arm, finding Matthew I realise we had both slept on the floor, I poke his sleeping face. Watching his nose scrunch up I poke him again, he swats at my hand.

He shifts a little, opening his eyes. He sees me and instantly looks down, must've thought we actually 'slept' together.

He sits up and turns to me.

"Do you need a ride home?" he asks, I hesitate knowing I'll be in trouble already but nod. He nods back and stands, balancing himself on the window. He moves back and offers me a hand, I accept and am pulled onto my feet quickly... too quickly as I fall into his chest. Feeling it vibrate I look up and see him laughing lightly.

I wish I could hear him... no Joshua don't think those things... you just got over last time... but he seems like he'd have a nice laugh.

I pushed away and stood straight, grabbing my phone and beanie from the floor. Looking at him I realised he was unbuttoning the top of his shirt and taking his tie completely off.

"We can go to yours in a minute, I'll call my assistant and tell her to push my meetings back." He said and I nodded, doubting he would change his mind if I said anything.

We headed down and Matthew stopped by a nice black car. I stopped for a moment, staring in awe at the vehicle.

It's so cool!

Realising the car had started up I rushed to get in, sliding into the passenger seat I watch as he places a hand behind my head rest to look out the back, reversing.

About 40 minutes later we stopped outside the house, I immediately lose my happy attitude when I see Aunt Maggie and Henry stood outside, both looking angry. A pair of fingers snap in front of my eyes, I turn to Matthew.

"Go on, text me if you want to get away again. I had fun." He smiled at me, replacing my hope in people a little more.

Nodding I opened the car door and walked around, I bent down to look at Matthew through his car window. Unrolling it he looked back at me.

"Bye Josh." He spoke, a sad smile upon his face.

I waved, sighing.

Lets go into battle...

I watch him drive away before turning towards the house, Aunt Maggie is looking confused and worried but Henry just looks mad.

'What?' I sign, rolling my eyes at them.

Maggie is the first to speak up.

"Where were you last night? Who was that man? Why did you hit your brother?" she holds my shoulders, checking me over.

'I was sleeping at his, he is a friend and I hit him because he doesn't notice me anymore.' I finished, and pushed away from her.

I don't want to know what Henry has to say, he can go away... just like everyone else will.

I tug my sleeves down and hurry up to my bathroom.

I throw my jacket by the wash basket, locking the door at the same time.

I stand in front of the mirror, placing my hands on the cold, plain sink. I should rethink this, I shouldn't do this. It's stupid, doesn't get me anywhere...

My thoughts drift away as I reach into the cabinet and pull out a razor, the shaky hands that once held this, now blank and unforgiving.

Placing it onto the side of the sink I feel my arms, the scars forcing themselves onto my skin. It's stupid... I'm stupid.

As I got to pick up the small blade I am stopped by a  thought holding me back.

I shouldn't do it...

Stop it... it won't get me anywhere.

I don't want to do anything anymore.

I broke...

I couldn't hold it in anymore...

I dropped to the floor, the blade falling from my sweaty hand. My heavy, ragged breaths tore through my chest.

I want to end it but I can't... I'm not brave enough.