GIVING UP.
The next day I couldn't get up for school, I missed the first class and managed to get to the second one, I felt so down that day, that I fear never I'd never forget about it. the way people talked made me sick, the way people acted made me sicker, the hypocrites, the bullies, the closed minded, the materialistic ones, I couldn't bare them no more, I got fed up with everything especially the routine. And for the first time i worried about my future, the studies I was taking if it was the right choice or not, started thinking about all the wrong things I did in the past, imagining myself doing things better, regretting my choices, like how I dumped my girlfriend and how I did her wrong, how I changed her to what she became now, from a confident person not caring about what people could say or think about her, to a person depending on alcohol and drugs to smile, hanging with bad influences even though she knew they were bad for her and after the break up everyone could easily see the way she dressed, slutty enough to catch attention, hanging with girls she didn't like, so why am I seeing her with them? It's not important anymore it's over and i'm the only one to blame, I lost her. All my problems came at once and how i could've had avoided this burning feeling in my chest, how I could've had avoided it all. thinking about all that at the same time was too much to handle, I start hating myself, I start giving up on myself. dropped the fake smile, and I whispered to myself "I can't do this anymore" there comes a point when it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore, we give up. That's when the real pain begins, to find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all. I started searching for hope deep down my thoughts when I realized I was lost, I couldn't think positive I couldn't think at all, my eyes got shut down by themselves and fell to the ground.
"I don't want to wake up, nothing is interesting anymore, I give up."
