The world is full of hurt and I'm my own one way ticket to the pain it brings. I'm eighteen, graduating. Nothing more; nothing less.
Warning: Explicit content lies within this book.
Do you know the feeling when your life is shit and everything you love comes tumbling down? You come home and run the bath to the hottest point possible. You just want to feel pain, so much pain. You look around and on the edge of the tub is a razor, to the right, and then behind you, way up high.
You look at your scars. Your heart is screaming "NO" but your mind is demanding "YES". You wish you could just not feel at all. You wish to do the most cliche thing: slit your wrists and hope to bleed out completely. But you don't for the sake of everything.
You're graduating this year but your teacher doesn't care about you or your grades. You'll just be another young face each of them sees, replaced with a new one next year. Of course, until they retire.
Not many will think about you. Not many will care. Those friends you once had will soon be distant memories. You'll vanish into the nothing you always thought you were. You'll be the real thing, living or dead.
I wanted to drown myself in that tub, but who ever wants to die exposed. The tub was my get away; my release. I came in here when I could and I cried. The water my body absorbed was released through my tears. I wanted to end it all. Cut myself out of every picture. I wanted to drown myself. I simply gave up.
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I contemplated my life, everything that was going to be ahead of me. I contemplated the man I was in love with, college, and so much more. I felt the walls cave in on me. My mind was a murderer.
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I sank in the tub, slowly slipping down the wall and into the water. I felt the water rush into my nose. It burned as I inhaled. The burning made me feel alive and I jumped up. The water splashed but didn't go over the edge. I let out a big sigh of relief and laid back down. Nothing seemed okay anymore and I was always not okay.
