i faked my suicide

death notes

i sit there alone in the bathroom. writing this note to my parents so maybe they realize how shitty they were.

i love you so much, mom. i couldn't handle my life anymore tell my friends i love them and i will always be thinking about you.

the truth is that they are the reason im running away and i would hate myself if i even thought about them while i was "dead" i set down the note by the bathroom sink and texts my friends cory, jack, and ryan "blue code"

i set down the phone and watch the tub fill up with water and i lightly take off my shirt and shorts setting them aside before i look around at the walls. 

i cant believe im doing this. im actually going to be considered dead by tomorrow. everyone will think im in some sort of heaven or nirvana when really im still stuck on this filthy world.

i slowly sit in the tub before  grabbing the knife on the bathroom sink and i slit my wrists lightly and slowly closes my eyes knowing my parents will be home any moment i put my head underwater and lays there. its 5:17 and this will be my time of death...

i wait 10 minutes as the bath water turns orangish red and i become dizzy , suddenly i hear my stepdad and mom burst in and i can hear my mom say "oh my god, what.... happened"

my stepdad  looks shocked and before my mom can process things he says, my stepdad checks my pulse and says "shes dead" 

he's such a dumbass wow. my mom starts to cry which i find shocking because she barely acted like i was an actual human when i was 'alive' ... 

10 minutes go by and i feel my step dad picking  up my feet as my mom picks up my shoulders and hear my dad say 

" lets bring her into the woods , the police cant come here we have too many drugs in the house" 

my mom sniffles and nods as they carry my body down the stairs and through the kitchen to the backyard the lightly set my body on the ground as the sunsets

 my mom whispers "i will always love you dear"

a tear slips from my closed eye, not a sad tear , a satisfied happy tear, im free now i'm not going to be a nobody no more. as they walk away i look at them for the last time. once i don't see them anymore i get up and stumbles to ryan's house, i walk in from the back and falls and passes out.

about an hour passes by and i wake up on the couch and notice that jack must have stitched up my cuts and i see the bag that i handed ryan a couple days ago next to me. i get up lightly and grabs my bag and walks into the kitchen where i see ryan, jack, and cory playing cards 

"So now that we are all considered dead lets get out of here" i say and smiles.

they all look at me and gets up, jack hugs me lightly and mumbles something in my ear. i bite my lip and blushes as he says it. we all  put our bags into cory's 2014 jeep wrangler and he dries, off i look out the window as i take the last glimpse of the place i used to call my homes, i sigh in relief

as hours go by i  finally see 'welcome to nevada' printed on a sign and smiles as tears roll down my face, i'm finally free. i'm not jordan anymore, i'm now cassie