Twilight vs Harry Potter

Who Wins???

Word had reached Harry Potter and his friends that their friend, Cedric Diggory, was apparently a vampire!

"What?!" Harry interjected.

"Barbara, tell Cona he's taking my spot as the Minister for a few hours," Hermione told her apprentice.

"I'll get right to it," Barbara scurried off.

"Bloody hell, that can't be. If he really is a vampire, then you or Harry would've known," Ron gaped.

"According to Ginny, he  sparkles... sucks blood... is a stalker... abuses some girl... is also over 100 years old, too," Harry listed.

"Rubbish," Hermione and Ron said at the same time.

"Well, Ginny said that we could summon him in some way," Harry offered. I want a sparkling, bloody tampon to appear right before my eyes, he intensley thought.

Poof!

Suddenly, a certain Edward Cullen appeared with Bella at his side.

"Harry? Ron? Hermy-girl?" Edward questioned.

"You know these middle-aged people?" Bella asked.

"Yes, I was one of them."

"You were middle-aged?" everyone face-palmed at that moment.

"No, they are wizards. Before I was a vampire, I was a wizard, too," Edward explained.

"You mean... you didn't sparkle?" Bella inquired.

"No," Edward rolled his eyes.

"Then what are we doing here? We aren't in Forks."

"They probably heard about me becoming a vampire," he told her. "Took ya long enough."

"Sorry, how do you sparkle?" Hermione asked, amazed by the absolute stupidity.

"It's complicated."

"Well let's GTFO, because these people are weird," Bella said.

"Says the one that went into a depression because her boyfriend left her!" Hermione retorted.

"Oh yeah, you bushy-haired freak!" Bella yelled.

"I happen to be the Minister of Magic, missy! Watch your mouth!"

"Well, what can you do to me, huh? Edward here is much stronger than you!" All 4 of them laughed.

"Oh, you silly, silly girl," Harry laughed.

"C'mon, you, me, now," Hermione said through fits of giggles.

"I know you can do it," Edward told his lover. No she can't, he mouthed to Harry and Ron.

Hermione were 10 paces away from each other. Bella was given brass knuckles, elbow, and knee pads. Hermione was holding her wand, and that was it.

"Brachiabindo! " Hermione pointed her wand at Bella. Instantly, Bella's arms and legs were binded to her torso. She could only move her mouth and eyes.

"Help me, Edward!" Bella called.

"Hey, it's a one-on-one! No one else!"

"Yeah, I'm good. Magic killed me," Edward said. Bella pouted.

"Ok, let's continue," Hermione announced. "Oppugno! " Suddenly, a flock of canaries appeared (the same ones that attacked Ron) and started attacking Bella!

"I surrender!!!!" Bella yelled only after 1 bird pecked her.

"Jeez, OK," Ron snickered at her weakness. It wasn't in a mean way, but in utter disbelief and hilariousness.

"Episkey! Emancipare! " Hermione flicked her wand at Bella. Her peck "injury" went away and she was freed from the "Brachiabindo! " curse.

"What the ****," Bella breathed.

"C'mon Bella, let's go," Edward said as they disappeared.

"She was a prick," Harry said. "But nice seeing Cedric again, even if he's a sparkling tampon."