Another Colour: A 2P Hetalia fandic

1

Every family is dysfunctional, some just handle it better than others.

At least, that how Oliver Kirkland thought the quote went. Clearly, it wasn't the F.A.C.E (France, America, Canada, England) Family at all. Far from.

"Pass the peas, please." The word please didn't come easily to Allen's mouth, and it sounded unnatural. Matt rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses and slid the bowl over to him, "what the He- Matt."

"What?" Matt knew exactly what his brother was complaining about.

"You know what." Allen snapped.

"You're right, I do." Matt smiled slightly, "move the meat yourself." The meat in the bowl of peas, which Matt did every time they had dinner together, always threw off his vegetarian brother.

Allen swore at his brother.

"Behave yourself at the table!" Oliver shouted.

"I've been behaving all day, apart from some uncultured swine over there, smoking at the table!" Allen yelled, pointing at Matt.

"France is smoking at the table!" Matt yelled back, pointing at Francois.

"E-cig. Suitable for indoors." Francois defended himself, not wanting to get caught up in another pathetic family argument over nothing. Or, at least, nothing he cared about.

Matt went silent, trying to find something to answer back with.

"You should put it out, unless you want to get cancer and die." Oliver said.

Matt used his arm as an ash tray, scolding his skin with the end of his cigarette.

"Don't put it out on your skin!" Oliver had reached the limit of concern for Matt's mental and psychical health. He hated being the mother of the family, but since he was the only responsible one, he had no choice.

"He's dirty, he enjoys pain." Allen muttered.

Matt punched him with all his strength. Allen choked on air, coughing and wheezing.

"Apologise to your brother!" Oliver sighed, dramatically.

"Sorry." Matt said, half-assed.

"Do it properly."

Matt groaned, "I'm sorry for punching you at my weakest strength," he said in a sappy, sarcastic tone, "toughen up, my dear brother."

"Don't tell me what to do," Allen wheezed, winded.

"You don't tell me what to do!" Matt mock-shouted. Oliver groaned and leaned back in his seat, looking at the roof. Francois placed a hand on his shoulder, but Oliver brushed it off.

"Don't touch me!" He snapped at him. He blinked, "who wants pudding?" I have to get out of this room.

Before anyone could say anything, Oliver stood and left. A sigh of relief spread across the room.

"Any luck with the butter knives yet?" Matt asked.

Allen was trying to cut his way out of the ropes and belts that attached them to their chairs. Unfortunately, he was using a butter knife, which could take him fifty hours and he still wouldn't make progress, "Nope." He said, half hearted.

"SHOW RESPECT! I CREATED THIS FAMILY!" Andersen Densen shouted. He and the Nordics were trying a drinking game Luka's