Tumblr Girl

6

I watched him as he buttoned up his shirt and positioned his sagging jeans .

"Fuck and run huh ?" , I say rolling my eyes .

"Yep , but you know I always come back ... Speaking of coming back , what the fuck was that post about ending sum about ? You tryna leave a nigga ?"

I smiled just thinking of how much better my life would be if I did .

"No baby , you know these companies tell me what to wear and exactly what to say . Nothing to do with me and you ." , I lied .

"Yea . Thats what the hell that big ass box is ?"

"Yep , just a bunch of clothes I need to go ahead and post ."

See , when your 'tumblr or insta famous' , companies such as my big buyers Forever 21 , Areo , and Wet Seal pay you to model there clothing . I can make about $400 a month just by getting over 1,000 likes on a picture in there merchandise . Pretty cool .

"Ight , Im out . I got a surprise for you tonight so just chill and I'll hit you up later ."

I nodded as he walked over pecking my lips and leaving like that . I showered and got dressed ready to go on to the library so I can study .

  ______________________________

I found an empty table and took out Mac Book so I could finish my papers . I had on my earphones jamming to Drake Connect . I swear this song had me and Chances relationship all over it . I might hate his ways and even him a little bit but something always brings me right back .

I was reading my poem over just soaking in everything I said . I needed a page and talking about Chance could give you more than that .

I sit here , waiting for you to wake and relalized Im not this person you want me to be .

I camoflague my feelings about you so you wont cut to quick and destress my cold heart toward you .

I sometimes wonder if you cared at all . Am I a hand-me-down , your no good for nothing , feckless peice of property ? Or am I your beloved , and cherished jewel you worship and adore ?

I see the others chipper and elated while Im sitting her wishing I was the Aphrodite to your Hephaestus , the queen that sits next to you on your thorne , the carrier of your seed , the apple of your eye .

But no , I need to wake up myself and realize , I cant sit around and wait on you to grasp that Im the best thing that ever happened in your bleeding and dolorous life  you eclipse from the crowd . 

Your unhappy , I fix that by carressing you with all of me and feed it to you as I dedulge in the moment as well , loving it while it last .

Im only gleeful when Im spending every second in your arms without fighting or just being able to feel you inside .

Its not the adulation that keeps me around , its the material things . Now thats what I love .

Not you .....

I took a deep sigh before saving it and checking it off my list of homework .

"Wow , that was deep ." , I heard him say as I jumped covering my mouth .

"Omg , Safaree you scared me !"

The librarian walked by telling us to shoosh as we cracked a smile . He seat across from me reachimg for my hand as I gave it to him .

"All it took was a little assigment to get you to pour your heart out ?" I rolled my eyes as him going back to work . "Hey bestie ."