Letters to You

My dream

Sometime not too long ago, I had a dream. I don't remember much from it, but I remember enough to frighten me. I remember myself talking about my current relationship, and I told myself that my relationship would be over by December. I don't know what that means or if it truly means anything at all, but I remember waking up and thinking about everything. I remembered the times that we spend playing mini golf, I always fumble around, holding the putter all wrong trying to scoot the ball to make it go in. It always takes me seven times to make the ball go in the hole, even on the easy courses. You always laugh at me, and god I love the way you laugh. You can see it in your face that it truly was funny, and your pitch frequencies go up and down. Your laugh makes my insides feel like jello, and even though I always lose at mini golf, I win because you laughed. Eventually you help me, and you show me that the putter has a little line that I need to angle at the hole. It doesn't help much. I still can't play mini golf. You always buy me icecream afterwards, even when I lose. I order the kind with a colorful array of sprinkles, and they end up making a mess. I never thought of us as a mess though. You tried to teach me to juggle, but the balls never stayed in my hands the way they did for you. I can always make you laugh though, I make your face light up like a little boy's face on Christmas. Is that enough for you? You're my best friend in the whole world, and I don't know what to do without you. We have had way too much history to be over by December, I hope dreams don't always come true. I want you for so much longer. You're leaving for college sooner than I wish you were, and that worries me too. What if you meet a girl there who is a pro mini-golfer, or one who can juggle perfectly? What if she makes you laugh all the time, and I'm just too far away from you to tell you my silly jokes? Now I'm missing you, and you aren't even gone. I know I'm only sixteen, but you make my heart feel as if it is bundled up in a couple blankets, all warm and cozy. I hope that I don't make your heart feel as if it is being suffocated by the heat. They say a dream is a wish your heart makes, but damn, all I really have ever wanted was your