You're happier, aren't you? | Jacksepticeye x Male reader - DISCONTINUED!

[Chapter - 1] - Dad, This is the truth

''Dad... I-... I like boys.''

''. . .''
''Get out.''

The rain was pouring down from the grey sky in LA that day. The day I finally came out of the closet, and told my dad that I was into boys. I looked up in the late afternoon sky, a few drops of rain got onto my face and began rolling down my cheeks. Just like tears. I took my hand up to my cheek and imanged the water to be tears. I wasn't able to cry. I wanted to, but it was like... If my body didn't allow me to show any emotion. I felt.... Empty.

The reason why I was out here in the rain was because of my dad.
When I had told him how I felt, he threw me out. He gave me 15 minutes to pack my most important things and then proceeded to throw me out.
The last things he said was-

''First you're diagnosed with depression! And now you're running around and telling me that you're Gay!?! What is WRONG with you!?''

People would call it hash, but after he said those words, my mind began waking up.
'He's right. Who want's a depressed, gay piece of shit, son anyways?'

I continued to walk. I didn't know where to go. Who would want me in their house?
I'm a gay, depressed piece of shit.
Who wants that in their life? Just even for a little while...
My last choice was to go down to the nearby bar, not to drink, at an age of 18 I'm not even old enough to drink here. But mostly because it was my closer friend of mine who was the co-owner of the place.

I began heading towards the bar, the cold rain was beginning to soak my clothes and make it stick to my arms and legs. The feeling was uncomftable and disgusting.

As I kept walking, almost running down the streets of LA to get to the bar faster I noticed that the streets lightposts began to light up in unionson. The sight got me to slow down a bit. I remember watching this when I was a child. Almost everynight me and my mom would sit out on your front porce to see the streetlights light up the dark roads of our street, chasing away all the nights demons.
I began to speed up again, thinking of my mom right now and feeling nothing. It was weird.

I finally turned around a street corner and saw the big bright neon sign spelling out
''JULIAN'S''
I went inside the bar. My clothes was wet but not enough to drip on the floor.
''Thank God! Last time Julian made me wash all the floors. Also the bathrooms...'' I shivered at the sheer thought of going out on those toilets again, but quickly shook the it off me and went over to the bar's counter seats. Julian wasnt there cleaning glasses or serving drinks like usual. Instead he had put Cecilie, his significant other on it.
''Hey (Y/N)! What happened to you? Were you out swimming with the fish again?'' They yelled out  overly excited to see me. I put on a small fake smile and went over to sit down.

''Good to see you too Cille.'' I said or rather whispered. My throat was sore from yelling at my dad. We kind of had a fight before I went to pack my things and left.
''Sooo, you here to talk with Julian?'' They asked with a curious look in their eyes.

''You're not here to drink, right? Hahahah! Such a reble!'' They laughed and leaned their arms against the counter in front of me.
''I'm just kidding,'' They finished laughing and replaced the big teeth showing smile with a small friendly smile instead.
''Very funny Cecilie, but yeah, I'm here to talk with Julian.'' I said silently and looked them dead in the eyes. I wanted to show them just a little sign that something was wrong, before I would break down.
Their smile dropped and they replied my look with a 'Ok, I understand' look and a nod.
They stood up straight in a swift motion.

''JULIAN!!'' They called out and went through a door that went upstairs to Their and Julians apartment.

There wasn't a lot of people in the bar. Actually, I was the only one.

It was weird, normally there would be at least 2 or 3 people here.

It took about 5 minutes before Julian showed up with Cille right behind him.

''What's up?'' Julian said and walked around the bar counter and sat down next to me.
''What's with the bagpack? You going on a journey or something?'' He commented and look strangely at me.

My heart sunk. Going on a journey isn't exactly what I think I would call it...I just wanted everything to be okay again. It's only been an hour and I felt so.. Lonely. Betrayed. Left behind.. 

No mom.
No dad.
No house.
No job.
Nothing.

My life was even more of a mess than it was before I came out. Everything that came out of my mouth would ruin something.

''Hey, (Y/N)... What's wrong?..'' Julian's voice shoked me. I quickly turned my head to look at him. His eyes widened.
Why? Why does he look like that? Did I do something? Did I say something without noticing? My mind was spinning. Everything felt like shit. I felt like I was about to explode.

''Why do I have to be here on this shit earth?! First my mom got hit by a fuckin' truck because people in this world thinks its ok to get drunk and then drive around like a fuckin' psychopath! No one ever comes to me and lets me talk out how I felt about my moms passing!! Only you and Cille!''

''(Y/N)..''

''Then I get depression, I have to eat fuckin' pills to be happy! Fuckin' happiness am I right?''

''(Y/N).''

''Then my dad kicks me out when I come out as GAY! I'm a gay, depressed piece of shit who doesn't deserve to li-''

''(Y/N)!!'' Julian yelled out slamming a fist down on the bar counter. I jumped a little out of shock. Shit.
''(Y/N). You know one thing for damn sure and thats that you're NOT shit! You fuckin' know that! You just need a push into the right direction!''
He was breathing heavily from the yelling, I noticed small tears in his eyes. Not fake tears, thats for damn sure. I looked over at Cille that had wet red lines down their cheeks. They were sniffiling. They were... Crying.. So was Julian..
My stomach felt twisted. It hurt, it burned. It felt like if someone shot you with a burning arrow.
'Holy shit...'
'I really fucked up.'
'Why do I do this?'
'Why do I do this to them?'
Tears began to built in my eyes, it hurt. My heart hurt. My head hurt. My cuts on my arms burned. Everything hurt.

I closed my eyes in an attemp to make it stop. I wanted it to stop hurting!
''I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so freakin' so-''
My rambeling was interrupted with to arms that swung around me. It felt warm. It felt, sort of safe.
''(Y/N), please listen, and please believe me when I tell you. You're perfect!'' Julian said, soothing me a little.
''You're ok (Y/N), just relax. You've had a rough night. Ok?'' Cille added and went to place a soothing hand on my shoulder. I sniffled into his shoulder. How can people still be this kind?

Julian losened the grip around me and sat up straight again. Both of them send me soothing smiles. I smiled a little weak smile back.

The bells from the door began ringing and we all looked over at the front door.

A greenhaired man, maybe around his 19-20 by his looks entered the bar. He froze when he saw us all in tears.

''...''
''Am I interrupting something?''

-----(A/N)-----

Hey guys and gals, and everyone in between!
It's J here,

Sorry for grammar mistakes but I'm too lazy to change them ://
Also sorry for a shitty classic start on a story!xD I am just too cheesy for this world i guess.