Painted Crowns (on hold)

(5) Nuts and Bolts

"Wait, I thought you got to third base with Anthony McCall?" I ask in complete bewilderment and lean up from the couch. "Homecoming. Sophomore year. Under the bleachers at the football game?"

Luca chuckles and his cheeks bloom like roses. He hides his smile with his hand and looks away, only prompting me to pry further into this sudden realization. We've been planted on this couch for three hours, completely lost in the missing adventures of Luca and Levy from the years we've been separated. Talking on the internet is not like sitting in your old friends living room nursing your scratches and bruises from falling out of a shopping cart. There's no comparison.

"Yeah, I might have exaggerated a little bit." Luca's laughter bubbles as he turns away from me. Why is he hiding his face from me? I'm the one completely dumbfounded by this new revelation.

"You are such a liar!" I shout and toss the nearest pillow at him. "I totally believed you!"

"I grabbed his butt though," he defends and leans forward towards me. "I didn't lie about that!"

"How can I trust you now?"

"Because I'm your best friend and you love me."

"So seriously, that means Don is the only guy you've ever been with?"

"Is that totally lame?"

"No, that's actually kind of sweet."

Luca's cheeks burn and mine ache from the unrelenting smile. My chest aches from laughing and my abdominals scream at me for bringing them out of hibernation. Laughter is the closest thing to exercise I've done since Freshman Gym class.

"God, I forgot how much fun you are," I admit and push the stray hairs out of my face. I rest my head on the cushion of the couch, flopping my hands onto my lap as Luca kicks his feet up over my legs. However, Luca's joy fades into something of sadness.

"Wouldn't have forgotten if you never left."

His words suddenly slice the cheerful atmosphere into pieces. It pierces my heart and immediately, my smile crumbles. "Well Jesus, that's a mood shift if I've ever felt one."

"I'm sorry," Luca rushes out and shakes his head. "That was stupid."

"Not stupid. Uncalled for, but not stupid." I purse my lips together and wait for him to continue.

"Should we even have this conversation?" He asks quietly, now doing everything he can to avoid my gaze.

Defensiveness threads itself into my words, "It's already started." I rest my head on my hand and feel anger begin to build in my voice. "Might as well finish it so we can forget about it."

"That's the thing, Levy." Luca says quietly. "Nobody can forget about it. Nobody has. Probably for different reasons, but everybody knows who you are."

"This is why I didn't want to come back," I murmur and my fingertips begin to tingle. "This exact thing."

"I just want to know why you did it," he says solidly. "That's all I want to know. You owe me that much."

"Luca-" I feel my heart begin to pound and tears begin to well in my eyes. My hands shake and I bite into my lip.

"You left, Levy. Without a word. After it happened, you just disappeared. Then you messaged me from New York like nothing went down and everything was just fine."

"I know-"

Luca's voice raises as he continues. His cheeks flush red again and intense confusion burns in his eyes. His hands begin to flail, and now he fights to catch my gaze as I take my turn and try to hide. I try to shrink into the corner of the couch. The comfortable cheeriness is a foreign feeling now. My heart feels cold and my lungs fill with concrete. I know this feeling. I know what it precedes.