When The Blood Ran Black

Stop

***Major Trigger warning for all those who have experienced sexual abuse, assault, or rape.***

I have stopped having nightmares of his touch.
I have stopped blaming myself,
stopped believing it was my mistake.
I have stopped all that I can.
But it's not enough.

Because I cannot stop the fear I taste at his presence.
I can't stop the pain I feel at his choice.
I can't stop the memories that knock around my head,
the ones that sneak up when I feel fine.
When I feel at peace.

I couldn't stop what he did.
I can't only try to live
with the aftermath of his choice
that destroyed mine.

———Hi everyone. I don't usually add more onto a poem than the poem itself. I like to let you guys read it, take it in, and experience it on your own. But I feel that this is a very important subject I should talk about. It doesn't mention it directly, and maybe if you read it without the trigger warning you would get a different takeaway from it. But this poem deals heavily in rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. This is something that affects millions a year, something that is done to men and women, boys and girls. It is an ongoing war. And I say war because there have been casualties, both physically and mentally. There have been cover-ups. And there are some people who discriminate against the survivor instead of helping them. There needs to be more awareness on this subject, more people taking action against this horrendous act. I am aware that this is long, especially for such a short poem, but what I couldn't fit in my poetry I'm fitting in here. If you read all the way to here, I thank you. This is something that everyone needs to fight, not just the survivors.———

(In my poem, I use 'he' and it's not to say that every rapist is a man, because that's not the case, but because it is the most common.)