Infinity Times Infinity Squared

Chapter Four

We drive in silence, my legs drawn up to my chest and Traeh squeezing my hand trying to comfort me.

"She is strong. She will get through this." His voice sounds promising but I don't want to listen.

I close my eyes and let a single tear fall down my cheek before quickly wiping it away. Tears make you weak! My dad's words echo through my mind and I grit my teeth.

Soon enough, We pull up to the hospital and Traeh opens my door, leading me because I can't do it myself. You are weak.

I can’t think. My grandmother is most likely dying in a hospital bed somewhere. She is the closest thing I have ever had to a normal parent. All those times when my mom was out drinking and my dad was off shooting up or hooking up, she was there. Right beside me, even before Traeh came along. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to think. I don’t have to think, though… Traeh is right beside me, practically working as my life support for the time being. Guiding me every single step.

“Babe…” Traeh begins, looking in my eyes, “she might not look so good when we get in there… and I just want you to know that I’m here. Always.”

“Infinity times infinity squared?”I whisper. Meaning: How much do you love me?

Opening the door to her room makes me weak at the knees. My grandma wasn’t really there, but her body was. She was still alive but not like me. I am so scared, scared that she won’t come out of this. Scared that I’m going to have to go into my dad’s or mom’s custody…

Looking at my bruised grandmother, everything covered in blue. Her eyes, her face, her arms, and fingers. All I can think of is the pale,purple hospital cover that covered her from her waist down, and how much she would have loved that color. I mean loves.

I didn’t realize how long I had been watching her or that I was crying, until Traeh wipes the stray tears away from my cheeks, “she looks so… peaceful.” I say, trying to comfort myself.

Traeh nods, and I can see he is on the brink of tears as much as I am.

I walk around to the other side of her bed, taking a seat on the chair beside it and taking her hand, she is so cold. I think to myself, “Traeh…” he looks over at me, “Will you go find one of the nurses and see if they can get her another cover? Please…”

“Sure, baby,” He smiles weakly, knowing that I need some time alone with Mamaw. He walks out the door and I hear him sniffle, making my heart break further.

I huff, closing my eyes as tears brim my burning eyes, “Mamaw, I… I know we didn’t get to really say ‘goodbye’ and I know we won’t… in this lifetime,” I choke on a sob, “But, I need you to know, if- if you can hear me, I want you to know that you are the most amazing woman that I have ever come into contact with. I hope… I hope that I will be at least half the woman that you are. I realize that I need to call mom and tell her after we leave, but… but I am afraid that she will never come back…

“I really need to talk to her about everything. Dad… You...Me… Traeh… her drinking… Maybe I can get her into rehab. Hopefully,” I laugh coldy, “Hopeful, sometimes I think I’m too hopeful about her…” I taper off.

I realize I’m talking like I’m in one of those crappy lifetime movies or something. I smile, knowing they were her favorites.

I snap out of my memories when I hear Traeh’s voice outside the open door, talking to a nurse I think. I go to stand closer so I can hear… “--doesn’t have much time I’m afraid… she is hooked up to life support and she is in pain.” My heart shatters with those last few words and I have to cover my mouth to keep from crying out, but I keep listening, “There isn’t any brain activity, nor any heart or lung abilities without the support. We need Miss Burke’s consent before taking her off, but we have done everything we know possible.”

“How long?” I can hear the tears in his voice.

“We can’t say-” Traeh cuts him off, harshly.

“How long?” He asks louder.

“One week.” The doctor says coldly, “Sir, you are going to have to calm down,” My eyes grow huge

Telling Traeh to calm down is like telling a bomb not to fuse; I quickly open the door and get between the stupid doctor and him.

He instintively wraps his arms around my waist and folds me into a hug, knowing that I heard all of that. What am I going to do?

"Traeh, I don't know what to do..." I whimper into his chest and he rubs my back soothingly.

"It's okay. I'm here, forever."

"Always?"

"As long as infinity times infinity squared."

{{A/N: Yo yo yo, what up? *sigh* Yeah, not feeling that either! 

Anyways, I'm writing this on a bus back from a band whatnot. Don't hate me.

Thank you!

Love you guys! }}