Only For You

In Unwanted Rememberance

••Tom's POV••
Broken.
Unloved.
Shattered.
Betrayed.
That's how I felt the day it all happened.
Just a big blur where everything felt surreal and fake.
And the only face I could see, the source for all my sufferings, was Tord Larsin.

"Tom? You okay?!" Matt's innocent, worried voice pulled me to reality, and out of the horrifying dream.
"Sorry, Matt...did I wake you?" I rubbed the back of my head and winced slightly. "Was it...was it another nightmare?" I shouldn't have asked, even though I already knew.
Matt hesitated a moment, then nodded.
"Don't worry about it!" He soothingly rubbed my back. "You've been through a lot, Tom. Anyone would have the same reaction."
"I know, but it's been two years! Two years without him! Wouldn't you think I'd be over it by now?!" I was getting impatient, but not at Matt. Just at the fact that I couldn't push Tord out of my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I still saw his penetrating silver eyes, staring at me as if he were figuring out a puzzle.
I loved that look. The one where his mouth curved up in a small smirk and his eyes twinkled. The one where you knew he was up to something.
Stop it!! I yelled at myself. He's gone! He's never coming back!! I shook all thoughts of Tord from my head and refocused on Matt.
"I never understand you, Tom." He sighed worriedly. "Edd and I, we miss you. Can't you tell?" He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Edd's taking it really hard."
I glanced out the open door, catching a glimpse of Edd. I couldn't see much, he was just so...distant. Here, but somehow somewhere else.
Matt was being really strong. Despite his memory problems, he knew when something was up and tried to fix it. But it was my turn now.
"I know, Matt. I promise I'll try harder. I'll go get us coffee tomorrow morning, how about that?" I smiled weakly, in hopes of cheering him up.
I hated coffee. Who needed the vile stuff when you could have a nice Smirnoff?
"Coffee? Yeah! Sounds great!" Matt turned to go, then twirled back and gave me a hug. I stiffened at the contact but didn't shove him off. New and improved Thomas Rockwell. I sighed to myself.
"You're one of my best friends, Tom. I don't want to lose you, and Edd doesn't either." He murmured.
"Goodnight, Matt." I sighed, slumping back down onto the mattress.
Matt gave me a worried glance before walking out.
I glanced longingly at Susan for a while, wanting to play her but not wanting to disturb the others. Especially not at a time like this. So I flicked off the lamp and rolled over to face the wall.
But somehow I knew that sleep wouldn't come easy.

••Tord's POV••
"R-Red Leader?" A nervous voice came from the doorway.
I cracked my eyes open and glared at Patryk, my vision blurry and my world spinning.
"What on earth do you need, Patryk?! I'm in pain here!" I winced with each word, but kept my voice steady.
"W-well sir, you see I, well we, no...no, um..."
"Patryk..." I said in a dangerously soft tone. "If you don't spit it out right now I will shoot you, migraine and all."
"Well sir, that's what I-I'm here to tell you. It's not just a m-migraine s-sir, I didn't exactly...Well I didn't really..." Patryk began shaking. "P-please don't hurt me!!"
I clenched my teeth. "My god, Patryk. Just get out. And if you ever come back to me without the information I need, I won't hesitate to kill you."
"Y-yes, Red Leader, sir." He quavered. "Thank you for not shooting me!" And with that, he rushed out.
I shakily stood and looked in my cracked mirror.
I wasn't me. I wasn't the strong, Red Leader I used to be. Right after the fallout with Edd, Matt, and Tom, I was strong. I was the most feared leader in all of Norway, and I never let anyone forget it. I fought for my redemption and oh, did I earn it.
I was loved.
I was respected.
I was perfect.
But now? I was weak. I was always in pain. Nothing was ever good enough.
I hobbled to the window and stared out mindlessly at the courtyard. I saw soldiers training to fight for their country on my honor. And couldn't care less.
I had nothing to fight for. Nothing to live for. No one to love.
And then it hit me. Just like that harpoon so many years ago.
I could escape. I could run away, find something to live for.
I didn't have to be "Red Leader" or "Sir" anymore.
I could be Tord Larsin.

Beep beep, imma sheep!
Lol sorry. Anyway, I'm rewriting this story because I'm honestly not too proud of it >///< so yeah! Don't worry, it's not going to change completely, I'm just fixing some minor errors and changing some parts I don't like.
So yeah!
Thanks for reading! I'll see you later!
*flies off to Narnia to eat a bagel*