It's My Life

Prelude

The day my grandma died.

I smiled, I laughed and I worked in a little bubble I called my world. It may be foreign to you, but it's a place where the sun was replaced by my priorities, the moon was to my beckoning and the stars glistened to my will.

I didn't think myself to be so selfish. But looking back I don't believe I was thinking much at all.

At least, not about the things that matter to me. The values beyond the mundane matters that we trip ourselves over from time to time.

Why did they matter more?

From living in the comfort of my bubble, it is shocking instances like this that make me realise the bubble was never really there to begin with. It was all just a fabrication from my mind.

Why didn't I balance my time?

I had bags under my eyes from stressing about tests that don't even matter in retrospect. I neglected my friends and family because I thought that they would always be there once this period was over.

I never would have anticipated the accident.

I know now, more than ever, that life throws you curveballs.

But I can't turn back time any more than I wish to.

I didn't catch this one.

I can lose so much more salty water in the form of tears. I can claw the palms of my hands with my nails and hammer my fists on the bed, but it won't change the past.

All it would do is leave me limp, gasping for breath and tasting the salty tears that trickle to my lips. Having the raw, red streaks on my palms as a glimpse into the crevices of my hollow shell.

But most of all, it would remind me that I am alive; gasping for breath, heart pounding and eyes blinking, thinking what my life would be without her.
Continuing my life knowing that she will never come back.

And that the only time that I will ever meet her again is if I go to her.

Day dreaming of becoming a different person, a better person. And vowing that I would not leave anymore loose ends behind.

The day my grandma died, I was reborn.

This is just the beginning but I'm glad that you've engaged with me so far. If you have any input, don't let me stop you!