Somedays, you don't want to get out of bed. You think "I'm not worth today". You can't understand your surroudings, or if you truly are alive. You start disliking yourself, because you do this, you don't get why you do. Then you realize, you do it because any time you actually want to help, want to fix anything, it gets overcomplicated and misunderstood. You don't know why this happens, you question God and think, why did you give me everything I ever wanted in life, just to see me grieve, just to see me cry until I can't, over and over. You think in circles and speak that way too. You try to speak out, to vent, to just have some sense of reliability and comfort. But your efforts are turned into misconceptions on how much of a backstabber, gossiper, toxic person you are. Some people have these days. Some people don't. And some people have them more than others. But, this is all okay, because "It's going to be okay", even if things aren't okay, and the world is burning before your eyes. That you aren't as bad as people say you are, that you can be enough. Just have to pretend like nothings happening and everything's fine... Somedays.
