Just a Letter

Dear Electra Heart

I know I've really tried to talk to you a lot and it's not the sort of thing you like to do. Especially with me. But you have to understand sometimes. I don't wanna be heard, I just wanna be listened to. I find it hard to talk to you in person because I don't really make my point clear enough. So I think it's easier to write out my thoughts.

You see, Electra Heart, we have been childhood friends and would hang out with each other most of the time. We separated after three years but reunited again very quickly. As our time together grew after many months, I would start arguments with you over the littlest things. I realize time and time again that no matter what, I was always the source of the problem.

If I get upset with you, I put all this pressure onto myself causing me constant grief and sadness. Even last night, I cried myself to sleep over this whole "questioning our friendship" thing. That was what inspired me to write this to you. But this is probably getting annoying by now. But there's more to this than you understand.

I really do care about you. That's why when you look upset, I want to make you feel better about the situation. But I now have learned not to interfere with a situation unless I'm allowed to. I know that you do the same thing where you put all of this extra stress onto you like you did something wrong.

You are perfect just the way you are. I don't want that to ever change because of something I did. So I'm debating on whether we should be best friends or not. I always interfere with your problems, I start problems and I try to rearrange your life they way I want it to be. We are all young in the end. And as we grow we're still learning, and life only gets harder in the long run.

I'm afraid of hurting you again. Because I know you are better off without me. You always say I am important in your glittering eyes. In my watery eyes, all I see is a beautiful girl who doesn't need me at all to ruin their life. You are the type of person that doesn't really know how to react. I'm sorry if it bothers you, but I like talking about my feelings. Its like a lifting a heavy burden off of me. 

You're usual social, so telling me you were an introvert broke my heart. I was just stunned. I didn't know what to say because I was upset, like I always am. I just don't want you to deal with my over exaggerations all the time. Especially when you're around people I don't like, I force you to stay away from them. Once again, it is not my ability to take control of your life. And I can pull the steering wheel. But I choose not to.

I don't want you to take this wrong way. I just only want the best for you. We can still talk to each other and hang out a little. I'm sorry. I even regret writing this. But I don't know what to do anymore. You can say I gave up on you, but not really. You don't need me. Blurryface is more important than I am. No matter what I will always love you and I hope you feel the same.

Stay Alive,

Crybaby