Snape: Back inside....
Ron: You all heard that, right?
Ginny: Heard what?
Ron: I thought I just heard Malfoy's voice outside...
Harry: He couldn't have found you that quickly!
Lucius: *breaks in through a window*
Harry: I take that back.
Lucius: MY LOVE, I AM HERE!!!
Hermione: I don't even love you! Stop calling me that!
Lucius: YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE FOR ME!!!
Ron: She's married already!
Lucius: AND SHE'D GLADLY LEAVE YOU TO MARRY ME!!
Hermione: No, I would not!
Ginny: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
Harry: I'd get out if I were you...
Ron: Yeah, those aurors are nothing compared to Ginny.
[insert Benny Hill theme here]
Lucius: *chases Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Ginny*
Ginny: *uses Bat Bogey hex*
Lucius: *bats fly out of his nose as he tries to shoo them away*
*they escape from Lucius*
Lucius: NOOOO!!!! I WILL FIND YOU AGAIN, MY LOVE!!!
Auror #1: *stupefies him*
Lucius: CURSE YOU, AURORS!!!
Auror #2: *stupefies him again*
Lucius: *is stupefied*
Auror #1: Let's get him back to Azkaban where he belongs.
Auror #2: Finally, I thought we would never catch him.
Auror #1: Sh! Don't you dare jinx it. *puts Lucius in extra security cell*
Auror #2: Ok, ok, sorry.
Snape: At the Weasley's house...
Hermione: *sigh* Finally, Lucius is back in Azkaban where he belongs.
Ron: Now we can finally have some peace.
Snape: Unfortunately, since auror #2 jinxed it, something happened on a very dark and stormy night.
Lucius: I WILL FIND MY ONE TRUE LOVE!!!
Nightguard: Shut up in there!
Lucius: I WILL FIND HER, NO MATTER THE COST!
Nightguard: Good luck with that.
Lucius: SHE WILL TAKE MANY OBSTACLES TO REACH, BUT SHE WILL BE MORE THAN WORTH IT!!!
Nightguard: *covering ears*
Snape: Later...
Lucius: *pretending to sleep*
Nightguard: *actually asleep*
Lucius: *escapes quietly* (whispers: I'm coming, my love!)
Snape: At the Weasley's house, once again...
Hermione: *sleeping*
Lucius: *uses a stolen broomstick to fly up to the bedroom window*
*he sneaks in through the window and kidnaps Hermione*
Ron: *enters bedroom, lies on the bed* Night, 'Mione. *He realizes she isn't there* Hermione? *starts panicking* I can't believe this! Malfoy kidnapped her!
YOU ARE READING
What Would REALLY Happen in a Lumione Fic
FanfictionThis is how a lumione fic should have gone! You're welcome. WARNING: Includes violence, nothing major. Well, also a man pursuing a romantic relationship with someone half his age. [DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, IT'S A SATIRE]
