Time changes people, no matter how solid your morals are eventually you will become the monster everyone else sees.
I have been alive for a thousand years. I have seen war and bloodshed, peace and happiness, and more knowledge than anyone could ever dream. I could recite what William Shakespeare said on his deathbed, tell you how Alexander Hamilton took his tea, even the number of people who died in London, England on August 4th ,1367 (47 by the way). I have seen unbelievable evil in this world but somehow have not come to the conclusion that it is unfair. I never noticed the invisible line between misguided and evil, and certainly didn't realize when I crossed it. How did I justify killing innocents for such selfish preservation? Why did the world let me live so long with such greed? Well, I guess the brick of death is where everyone feels the most guilt.
Sorry, I'm being cynical. I should probably explain, from the beginning yes? I was born what now would be February 18th, 1002 but time was different then so who really knows? Anyway, I was the youngest of a family of eight children Elijah, Finn, Niklaus, Kol, Rebekah, Henrik, and me, Emmeline. I'm only the youngest by minuets though, Rik and I are twins; you see even a thousand years ago people bickered over that petty topic.
So attention was inevitable, after all in a town full of werewolves, our mother was one of the few witches practicing magic but it was never a problem by any means, an annoyance perhaps, it gave us influence. However we were not yet feared, but we would be. Everything wrong can be traced back to one thing and one thing alone...Henrik's death.
1413, Somewhere in Europe
"Kol!"
My brothers had always embraced vampirism... well Klaus and Kol did, it seemed as if they were always meant to be like this and they loved it. They were good people, they still are most of the time, they do bad things simply for their survival as we all have but I can't say I never realized that they truly enjoyed it. The sadistic comments, the lack of any form of regret, even though it hadn't been clear, at first it became more and more obvious as the years passed.
"Slow down, brother" I laugh feeling guilt for taking part in their pleasure. "Leave some for the rest of us. We've been here barely a week and you've nearly gone thru half the town". My laughter hid my disgust; honestly I'd be surprised if someone noticed anything was wrong with someone if they were laughing in glee.
"Emma, you could get a meal by snapping your fingers. They practically line up outside our door," Kol rolled his eyes. "Yet you insist on taking my hard-earned food" the woman he had, was then in my arms, her blood dripping from her neck tempting me to take a sip. Before I could give in, I gave her my wrist in good hopes that the source of the blood would take the earnings as well. It didn't of course but as she left compelled to forget, the desire to kill her faded as well. "Or letting it walk right out the door. Why did you do that?"
I look at him, I knew he was mad, I wished I was like them, that I could kill with no remorse but I can't, and never would be able to either. "We need to be more discreet or Mikael will find us." I covered. "If the body count gets to high we can't say its religious sacrifice."
"Fine", Kol grumbled. "Want to get a bite from a few towns over?"
I rolled my eyes but thought about the last time I tried to stop drinking blood, I had torn apart nearly half of the city and gotten father back on our family's trail, "Yeah, that sounds good, I haven't had a drink in ages"
"You shouldn't starve yourself, sister. We're vampires, if we don't drink blood we die," he said", well desiccate" his arm slung over my shoulder. I knew the look he was giving me well; all of my siblings had given it to me at least once over the years probably because I'm the youngest, like I was a naïve child who couldn't possibly grasp the concept of self-preservation. It's like they still see the innocent sixteen year old that I was four hundred years ago, like they would always needed to protect me. Even if I still looked like the person that they knew then, I had changed just as much they had, yet they thought I was the weak one.
In a way I was, they all had things to fall back on, to hide behind, things that were present because they weren't real, my siblings didn't need anyone, not really any ways. Klaus had his curse, his obsession with breaking it, being more powerful than anyone else, Elijah and his unbreakable morals being the 'noble one', the best of the worst. With Rebekah it's more a picture this utopian dream of getting married, having kids, and growing old someday, no matter how unrealistic it might be, I'm a little jealous that she can still be so hopeful. Kol was another story, I didn't understand it until this point, he knew that we were vampires that we were abominations, we kill, we ruin people's lives, he's reliant on the fact he's normal. Or maybe I imagine that's how he thought because I didn't want to see him as a monster. Anyway, I didn't have this, I couldn't depend on concepts or fantasies, and I was more material, which was what made weaker than them.
"It's not that simple, Kol. No matter how hard you look at it, humanity will always be a factor." I couldn't help noticing his quick grimace when I mentioned the dreaded 'humanity'. But that was what I had, the closes I'd ever come to what they have and I haven't had that for a very long time. A race for redemption, and I knew how unlikely it was I would ever find it in time because at some point a line would be crossed and even I would realize I couldn't be redeemed." Don't. Really, the last thing I need is you judging me, too, as if I don't get enough of it from Klaus." I sighed quickening my pace to walk ahead of him.
"I'm not judging, Em. I think that your unwavering belief in humanity is just a little... unrealistic? I just don't want you to get hurt when you find out they can be just as bad as we are." he caught up to me putting his arms on my shoulders the same way he did when were kids and I was distressed or injured or hurt in general, the way he did right before he made it okay and at that moment I entertained the idea that he might be right.
