Young and Beautiful

Part 1

You were sitting happily in your back garden, the summer breeze caressed your skin as you admired the regular movement of the sea in the distance. Your feet were in the grass the tickled your dry skin, you spent too much time barefoot and your feet were all damaged, but you didn't care. You hated shoes, your feet weren't meant to be confined in such a small space. You stretched your arms out and arched your back the familiar cracking of your old bones resonating done your spine.
"MOMO MOMO LOOK WHAT I FOUND!" your granddaughter's small but powerful voice screeched behind you. You turned around to see Hannah's small chubby legs run your way with something in her hands. It looked promising she was covered in mud from head to toes. "LOOK LOOK LOOK!" the three-year-old squealed continuously clearly excited by her discovery. She came up to you and she was holding a slowly dying harvest mouse. The poor thing looked tired and old, and was probably waiting for death to take it away as fast as possible. You chuckled at Hannah's face as she plopped it onto your knees, "It's not running anymore.." she mumbled.
"I think it's dying Hannah." you sighed. "But that sure is a great discovery you made today."
"Is it?" she asked her eyes gleaming.
"Of course it is, I have never seen one of these up close before, and I have only ever dreamed of catching any."
"Really?" she gasped.
"Yes but I'm sad to announce that I'll have to kill it, you see the poor thing is suffering now, and I think she is ready to pass on to death."
"Oh, where will she go?"
"I'll bury her in the garden and she will have fun with the worms, that's what dead mice do." you grinned down. You knew her mother wouldn't like you telling her such things but that was how you raised your children. You knew death was a hard concept to understand for little ones but you didn't want to disappoint them by making them believe that the dead had just gone on a holiday. You took the mouse and stepped on it, it crunched slightly and it was finally dead. Hannah found an empty matchbox to put it in, and you both buried it at the bottom of the garden in the middle of pink flowers since Hannah thought he would like it best there.
In the evening her parents came for supper with their two other children, Lillian and Joshua. They were all running around in the garden as you prepared supper with your eldest son, Jacob. Your daughter and he often came around to see you and also leave you their kids to look after. You didn't mind, you loved your grandchildren, they brought a bit of life in your empty house. Their innocent smiles brought you happiness and it was always a pleasure having them around. They reminded you of your younger days. You used to spend your time in the garden hiding behind bushes making your secret potion, which actually was only mud and water but it was no joke back then. You would play with your brother and since you were the eldest you always gave yourself the best role until he became old enough to notice and start complaining at how unfair you always being the princess was.
You were peeling carrots with Jacob while your daughter in law, Izzy was rummaging through your bookshelves.
"Y/N, what's this?" she questioned. You turned around to see what she was talking about. She was holding a folder you hadn't seen in years. It was full of dust and the bold red color it used to ba had faded. In there was an important part of your life, or what seemed important at the time, now they were just old pieces of paper to you.
"Oh those are my diploma's and other achievements, old stuff really." you chuckled, you had almost forgotten about its existence.
"Can I have a look?" she inquired.
"Yeah go ahead sweetie." you answered, not really giving any second thought about it. You were too focused on not crying while you chopped the onions. You remembered what you had put in there, there were all the popular articles you had written, and magazines you had published. Your days as a journalist were long behind you. You loved that job and sometimes you wished you could go back to doing it, but it was too tiring for a person of your age. 75 years old wasn't an age to have such heavy schedules, you were better off at home.
"WOW!" Izzy exclaimed while she took out an article about you. "You were editor in chief of The New York Times Magazine?"
You chuckled, "That was a long time ago.."
"You really had a successful career." she muttered while going through all the different papers, and dust was now floating all around her.
"Yes I did.." Everyone had told you that. You did have a great career. You had had a brilliant scholarity, you had many diplomas and all your hard work led you to many different posts in different popular magazines. You had worked for Le Monde in France as a journalist, and a couple of times you had been an international reporter for TV. You had worked with the finest Journalists you could have ever met. You did well, you knew that. You had always wanted to be a journalist, and your parents had gave you the keys to success by providing you the best education they could even if it meant the had to cut loose on some other things to afford it. They were ready to do anything to help you reach your dreams and you were grateful to have such supportive parents, not everyone had that luck.
After a nice supper with your family and farewells from a clingy Hannah, you headed to bed. You looked at your reflection as you brushed your teeth, fuck you were old. Your face was marked by all the smiles you had had, the wrinkles now covered your once young and ravishing body from head to toe. You remembered a time when you had fresh bouncy pink cheeks that your mum would pinch at while mumbling how cute you were before covering your face with delicate kisses. Your hair was long and thick, your dark brown locks tumbled down your shoulders. Your skin would never burn and you would always get a gorgeous tan in the summer, now you had to spray yourself with sunscreen so you wouldn't burn, less than other people you guessed but the fact that you could burn now was a little heartbreaking. At least you still had the same green eyes. Your whole life people had complimented your eyes, so much that they had become your favorite part of yourself. Through them you could see your whole life pass by. The more you looked at yourself the more memories of your young days came rushing back.You tried locking them up for now, you would go down memory lane another day, right now you needed sleep. You lay down in your white sheets and fell asleep.
He appeared. He was there his square smile beaming up at you as he took your hand. You ran down the lit up streets, pushing the people out of your way. The night was smiling down at your blissful race. You were giggling and screaming, you were happy. Your heart was racing, a rush of excitement took over you. He threw his head back to see if you were still following him, his big hand squeezed yours as he laughed at your red cheeks. His brown hair flew against the wind and the scent of his cologne made it to your nose and sent you into a trance. People were looking at you strangely but you didn't care you were young and beautiful again and you were with him. He was holding you tight as you kept running down the night city. You had missed him. All you wanted to do was to press yourself up against him like you had done so many times. You wanted to feel his delectable lips once more. Why had he left you? You needed him. He used to be your ray of sunshine but now he was gone. Suddenly as if he saw you becoming sad he stopped running. The city disappeared, it was only you two again. Like it used to be, it had always been only the two of you. He approached himself, and cupped your cold cheek. A tear rolled from his eye. You reached to wipe it off from his soft skin but as you lay your hand on him the young man turned to ashes, and you cried. He was gone. He had left you like that night.
You woke up with a start. "Taehyung" was the first word that dropped out of your mouth. Your pillow had a small patch where your tears had fell, you wiped them away. Why now? You hadn't had a dream about him in so long. In fact you barely thought about him anymore, not because you had forgot about him but because the pain was too deep. You dozed back off to sleep and the last thing you saw was his pretty face lying besides you.
It had been a couple of days since that strange dream and you couldn't get your mind off of it. You were in your garden under the sun, your house was empty and you were left alone with your thoughts so you let yourself drift off to those days, when you were young and beautiful.
***
It was Friday night and Amber and you were heading to the frat house for one of their big parties. They would usually have one every week and everyone knew about them. Their house was the place to go on a friday night with your friends. They would have loads of people their, good music and booze and that was all anyone wanted from a party really. When you arrived there you could already hear the music booming across the street. You walked in and crossed the sea of dancing sweaty bodies pressed up together. Amber and you joined Jimin and Namjoon around the alcohol. When you sat down on the bright yellow couch, that had obviously already been through some tough parties judging by the stains it had. You tried not to think too much about how they arrived there and turned your attention back to your three friends. Namjoon had broken up with his girlfriend and wasn't feeling his best, so all four of you had gone out in order to cheer him up. You didn't really understand why he was so upset about it, Katy was a bitch and everyone here agreed but he always had found a way to see some good in her. She cheated on him like you expected she would, you already hated her but what she had done to Joon was despicable. You appreciated him and seeing him in such a state was awful. The dark circles under his eyes were enough to tell you that he hadn't been sleeping due to his breakup. You were chatting and downing shots, while you tried to cheer him up. You mostly talked shit about Katy, it felt good to finally be able to speak your mind about her, you had been holding back the whole time Namjoon and her had been going out.
"Guys, guys, guys!" Your slightly tipsy self exclaimed. "I'm not sure if I was the only one to notice that one time..." you were already laughing at the thought of it, while the others stared at you struggling to get the words out with grins on their faces. "That one time when she and Jungkook were talking. This was before you and her were dating." you nodded to Joon. " I mean she was obviously trying to flirt but he just cut her off straight away, by saying 'I'm sorry but could you hold my coat for a while.' and he just left her standing there for the rest of the night with his coat."
"She looked so disappointed" amber giggled.
"That dumbass, for fuck's sake Jeon Jungkook" Jimin laughed.
"You see she was too fucking stupid for Namjoon she didn't even have the idea to put the coat away! She literally stood there hoping that he would come back." you exclaimed, and Namjoon laughed a bit, which comforted you, at least you had made him smile for a bit.
"Well he sure wasn't going to because he was too busy eating Y/N's face out." Jimin laughed with a smug grin your way.
You blushed the memories of you and Jungkook's lustful nights were all too clear. He and you had had a weird thing going on, you weren't quite dating but there was an undeniable attraction between you both, it didn't last very long but those wild nights were worth it.
Slowly throughout the night you managed to lose every single one of your friends and now it was only you and the bottle of vodka on the table besides you in the middle of this crowd of strangers. You sat there and swayed your head to the music, kind of pissed that all of your friends had abandoned you. They were all probably hooking up with someone or just completely drunk being sick in the toilets, well tough if they hadn't left you alone maybe you would be rubbing their back while their head hung above the toilet. You waited for a bit uncertain of what you were going to do by yourself. You felt someone sit by you, and turned your head towards the newcomer.
"Hey, do you mind?" he asked as he pointed to the vodka. Was he seriously asking for your permission to have a drink? Did it look like you had claimed the bottle? You stared at him blankly while he served himself a drink. He sure was handsome. His bigs hands gripped tightly onto the bottle as his soft brown hair fell before his eyes. The scent of alcohol and cologne was surrounding him and it was rather enjoyable to watch this good looking, and smelling, guy pour himself some vodka. You took in every inch of his perfectly sculpted body and he must have noticed you stare because he gave you a suggestive wink, which got you all flustered and a rush of blood rose to your cheeks.
"Why are you alone?" he asked, and he actually seemed concerned about you, more than your friends would ever be that was for sure.
"My friends disappeared.." you sighed. God, you could hate them sometimes.
"Really? It's a shame to leave such a good looking creature by herself." he winked again with a giggle. His square smile was the cutest thing you had ever seen and you blushed ten times more at the sight of it.
"Don't be silly.." you scoffed, looking at your hands. You didn't think you were good looking. You kind of had a love hate relationship with yourself, and you didn't think that many people found you attractive. There was a silence, you lifted up your eyes to see if he was still there or if he had left, finding you uninteresting like most guys did. But to your surprise he was still sitting by you with a frown on his face as his stare pierced right through you.
"That's a shame.." he muttered after a while.
"What?"
"I find you really pretty, it's just a shame that you can't see that." he said while sipping on his drink. He wasn't looking at you anymore and you couldn't tell if it was because he was bored of this conversation or if he was embarrassed by what he just said. You didn't know what to say so you just stayed there awkwardly. Whatever had just happened you surely wasn't expecting it. He turned towards you once more, finally facing your bright red face and his hand swiped a few hairs out of your face. The brush of his fingers against your burning cheeks, although unexpected, felt nice. It was the kind of touch that you wanted more of, the kind of touch that intoxicated you. You trembled and you knew all too well that you were falling deep. His dark brown, almost black eyes drew you in as they looked through yours. It was as if you were both gazing into each others souls and what you saw was beautiful. It was beautiful but scary, something about him made a voice sound in the back of your head telling you to stay away. But you ignored it, the more his fingers would run through your hair and the closer he was the more you wanted him. He was now mere inches away his gentle breath in your neck drove you crazy and all you wanted was to take this stranger's lips in yours. His mouth was grazing yours and as you were about to taste them Amber interrupted.
She grabbed your wrist with a loud fake cough as she glared at the young man and you.
"I'm sorry, I need her." she grumbled as she pulled you away from his frame.
She tugged you along with her as you whined "Amberrrrr I was busy!"
"Don't care we have duties, Joon is a mess!" she exclaimed behind her back still dragging you across the crowded room. You grumbled, but didn't protest. Amber wasn't someone to argue with, so you bottled up your frustration and accompanied her to the bathroom where you found a drunk and wasted Namjoon covered in his own vomit while Jimin was sighing in the door frame. That was the night completely ruined, the only bit of fun you were about to have was interrupted by fucked up Joon but you did what you had to. All three of you picked him up and took him downstairs. You opened the door to leave and the last thing you saw was the handsome guy you almost kissed looking your way with what looked like, from your hazy eyes, lust written all over his face. You smiled and walked out.
That was the first time you met.
"MUM!" someone took you away from your day dream. You turned around, behind you Jacob was walking your way "God I've called you 6 times already!" he chuckled, "Have you gone death?".
He had came to get Hannah's dummy that she had forgotten in the garden. You sighed wishing he would have let you dream a bit more. You were having to face reality once more and for the first time in awhile you wished you could go back to when you were nineteen. Most people thought, including you, that you had lived a good life, and there was nothing to regret. You had had a good life, you were a successful journalist. You and your husband with whom you were very much in love with had 2 beautiful and healthy children. Your wedding was one of the best things that had happened to you, he had made you the happiest person you could ever have been. You could still picture his beautiful laugh and silly faces. Sadly he had passed away five years ago, the day you learnt about his death you thought you would never get back up from the shock. You were sad for weeks, months and even now you missed him. But you had lived out every inch of your love with him and you had no regrets.
These memories of Taehyung tormented you, he was the one that got away.
You could have lived so many things with him, you were deep in love and the fire didn't burn out. You were in the beginning of your adventure but he left. He left you with this burning fire to tear up your heart. He broke you to bits, but it wasn't his fault. You had so many regrets. You should have followed him, you should have fought against the people taking you apart. Instead of that you watched it happen, powerless and in pain.
You had forgotten about the fire burning in you but the second Izzy brought that file back out the pain in your chest came back. It was arising, you could feel it and there was no way of stopping it.
Jacob stayed for a drink, you were both sat in the kitchen and you poured him the lemonade he loved so much as a kid. You took a sip of the fresh drink as the bubbles tickled your throat, one time Taehyung and you had went out and you had bought the exact same soda. You never changed the one you bought since. His square smile appeared again before you. The atmosphere around you seemed to warm up as you saw his beautiful face. You were lost in your reverie all of your members were tight and fuzzy you stomach bubbling with joy. But once again Jacob cut you off, "Mum you seem to be lost in your thoughts a lot today, are you alright?"
You were startled by this question. Were you alright? It seemed as if you were falling deep back into your past and you weren't sure it was good for you. You should be living in the present, now that you were old you should make the most of your days before death would take you among your long gone loved ones.
"It's since Izzy brought that file out I keep on thinking about my younger days but don't worry it will pass." you smiled reassuringly up to your strong young handsome son. You were lying but that didn't matter. Jacob had grown so much, he was a man now and had already many responsibilities you didn't want to bother him with that.
"Okay.." he smiled but he still stayed suspicious.