Letting Go

The one and only part!

    Every time she pulled, the ropes seemed to get tighter around her wrists. Emaline's life, as she knew it, was connected to deteriorating ropes. It hurt to hold on any longer to her life that seemed to tick by endlessly.
    As she laid in her bed contemplating how her life would end, her mind began to wonder. How had she gotten to this point in her life?
    She had grown up an only child in a small town in Washington. Her parents divorced when she was young, but she could tell they still loved each other, yet something was keeping them apart. After the divorce, Emaline's father started to focus on work, staying late almost every night. Her mother had started to struggle with her job, money, and worst of all, alcohol.
    Emaline grew worried for her mother, who seemed to only be getting worse. Then, one day her mother grasped back onto life, slowly fixing the mistakes she had been making along the way. She had gotten a new job and went to AA meetings to rid of her alcoholism. A year later, Emaline never would have never imagined what would happen next.
    This day started like any other, Emaline trotting down the stairs to her mother sitting at the table reading a book. Emaline cheerfully said her goodbyes, just as she regularly would. She suspected nothing abnormal, her mother the same quiet, loving mom as usual.
    Emaline went to school, doing everything the same as she would any other day, but on this day in particular, she took the long route home. She took her time, stopping and looking around in the meadows, thinking everything would still be at home when she got there.
    Then, when she finally turned the corner to her neighborhood, she saw lights flashing. Police cars and an ambulance surrounding her house, people crowding outside. She sped toward the chaos and scrambled through all the people, she was so close to seeing what was happening, but someone pulled her back. She tried to push past them with all her force until she saw her father whose face only expressed sorrow.
    Emaline and her father drove to the hospital in silence, both stuck in their own thoughts, keeping their worries and emotions inside. They raced in and found themselves in the waiting room for what seemed like forever. Once the doctor came in, he sat down in front of them, Emaline knew she wasn't ready to hear what he was going to say.
    "I'm sorry." These were the two words that had ripped Emaline's life into a billion pieces. This was where her problems had started, this was where the rope began to enclose around her. She didn't say anything, she didn't cry, she didn't express any emotion.
    Her father on the other hand, had tears pouring out. This was the only time Emaline had seen her father cry and it pained her too much to look at him.
    Her mother had done the unthinkable, taking her own life. That morning when Emaline left for school, her mom gave in to drinking again and felt emotions that were bottled up finally take over.
    Emaline felt it, the same feelings her mother felt, misery and desolation. For weeks after her mother's death, Emaline acted as if everything were fine, she put up a fake smile and went on with her routines. She hid her emotions from the world around her, but at night when everyone was asleep, she'd cry, asking why her mom would do this.
    Sometimes, she'd imagine her mother walking through the front door having a grand entrance or sitting in the car next to hers singing along to a song. Slowly, Emaline's spirit started to fade away until one day she felt nothing. This was her breaking point, where the rope began to give her unbearable pain.
    She tried so hard to grasp back onto life just as her mother had once done, but the pain was insufferable. Emaline could feel herself letting go. She could feel herself finally being free from the pain. She could feel the warmth embrace of the person she longed to be with. That is when she knew she was going to let go.
    Emaline got up from her bed, dragged her feet along the floor to the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet, grabbing a prescription. She poured them out onto her hand and looked at herself in the mirror.
    She barely recognized herself, the person that looked back at her looked worn out and tired. This was not the Emaline she was supposed to be. She was supposed to be confident, happy, loved. She wasn't that person anymore.
    She put the pills up to her mouth, ready to finally let go, but just as she did, she thought back to the hospital. The way her father's face contorted when they told him her mom had died. Sadness spread across his face, it was too hard to see him that way. He looked like the way Emaline had been feeling, destroyed.
    How would he handle losing her? What would he do without her? Two deaths of people he loved, could he handle it? Emaline couldn't do it. She couldn't make her dad feel more pain than he already did.
    She put the pills down and looked at herself again, "you are strong, you will get through this." Emaline sat down, put her knees to her chest and sobbed more than ever before and could feel it. She could feel herself grasping back onto life. She could feel that things were going to get better. Most of all, Emaline could feel the spirit of her mother around her, embracing her, giving her hope.