You can throw my blades but I'll find new ways

It was Melissa's fault.

Back in 6th grade I made this friend, her name was Melissa. I was 12 right I didn't really think for myself and I didn't really know anyone at the school. Boy that was tough to even find someone. I felt like everyone there was was phony and gave off that fake phony vibe. Bottom line they just tried too hard to impress anyone. I was different though ...... I want into the type of stuff they were. I was into dancing, music, math, and alot of thing to be honest. Anyways it was Melissa, Jasmine, Mia, and me in the group. See Jasmine I didn't really like her she was known for making all the drama back in elementary. Now Mia even thought she was quiet I felt like she was the only sane one. She stuck with me because she saw the bull shit they were doing to me. Man I love that girl. But Melissa I'm not joking was a bitch. She always bragged about her being a cheerleader and her and this football player who is like in 10th grade. I saw a picture of him he looked gross but I couldn't tell her that. Anyways I remember her being so skinny almost anorexic but not quiet. One day we were going to the cafeteria to go get food, but as usual the food's always gross. So we sit down at a table to eat lunch, she just looks at me with this disgusted look. "What" I ask. "If you eat that nasty stuff im leaving". In my head im like WTF but I only had 2 other friends who were busy in class or something and she was the only person I didn't wanna look like a loaner. I said "ok ok fine let's just leave". So we never really went back not even for brunch I was starving myself, I would always chew on gum or drink a ton of water so that my stomach wouldn't grumble so loudly. Maybe like 3 months fast foward her and Jasmine got into a fight. I forgot what the fight was about, probably something stupid. But i was the one who got caught in the middle of it. They started blaming me then they both agreed to gang up on me. They had spread so many rumors they told people I was gross and disgusting and all these horrible things. At the point that was when my childhood spirit and happiness had left my body forever. I was broken ...... just thinking about it now just hurt me so much. I can't believe I was so desperate, gulliable, and weak. And it didn't help that I wasn't the same race as them I'm a mixed kid. Portuguese and Persian to be exact. They would make racist jokes and songs about me. I didn't know I could feel so ashamed about my own culture, I love my culture. I didn't wanna give it up. I remember coming home and not wanting to say or speak any of my native language or even be associated with it anymore. I wanted my black think long hair gone. For good. GAWD THOSE STUPID LITTLE SONGS THEY MADE ARE STUCK IN MY HEAD NOW. So freakin stupid. After they did that I remember them leaving me in the room then told Mia "let's get out of here". "No" she said. Jasmine says "what did you say ?" "I'm not leaving without her". "Fine." And that was basically my whole introduction to middle school and life. I forgot to mention ever since Melissa had said that eating was gross I really believed it. I still barely eat anything now it affected me....... but every time I try and eat I feel like i look stupid or gross. Can't believe that was all 6th grade.