Zailey (Sequel) ✔️

Part Twenty

"I've missed this."
I all but whispered, carefully crawling my way onto the queen sized bed to join Zander.
He was sitting propped up against the headboard and a stack of puffy pillows, the TV on at a background noise and the bedside lamps on to provide a gentle light to the room.
He offered me a smile that made my heart skip a beat.
"Me too Babe."
He'd had a positive checkup at the hospital on Monday afternoon and good reports from the Medical Centre every day since, plus he'd grown stronger at school every day, so we'd opted it safe to give a sleepover a go tonight.
But we'd already set boundaries.
A few pillows were going to be placed between us, so that I couldn't accidentally make contact with his healing injuries.
"Can we cuddle before it's sleep time?"
I asked hopefully.
Having to be so careful about touching him was really beginning to drive me nuts.
I missed him.
But I could hardly blame him.
He was healing the best that he could.
He offered me a smile that made my heart skip a beat.
"Of course."
Yay!
I resisted the urge to perform a happy dance.
Zander opened his left arm to me.
I crawled quickly across the remaining space of the bed and settled myself beside him, trying to block the fact that this was actually his Mum's bed out of my mind.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and placed a kiss onto my cheek.
I tipped my head back to get a look at his handsome face, feeling my smile stretch my cheeks.
"I love you Zan."
I reminded him.
He tipped his head down to look into my eyes.
"I doubt as much as I love you."
He whispered.
My heart melted.
He really can be sweet when he wants to.
"I doubt that."
I whispered back.
He smiled, his deep blue eyes sparkling gently and leaned down to capture my lips in a kiss that had my heart bursting into my chest like fireworks on New Years Eve.
I lifted my left hand and sunk my finger's into the disheveled strands of his black hair; all too eagerly kissing him back.

"So this week was fairly interesting."
I commented, my head propped on Zander's left shoulder.
"Interesting is one word to describe it I guess."
He muttered.
"I'm really proud of the progress you've made."
I informed him.
"Well it's mainly coz at least you and Keegan still treat me normally."
"Did you honestly expect you'd return to school and not have the student body fawning over you?"
Silence.
Uh oh.
I peeked up at Zander's face to see his eyes were on the comedy show that was on the TV.
"I'd kinda hoped."
He whispered.
"They're only ogling coz they admire you."
I reasoned.
"Well I'm not a god damn fish in a bowl."
He grumbled.
I couldn't help but laugh.
He offered me a small smile.
"So... have you got any plans for the weekend?"
I questioned.
He snorted.
"Not aside from a visit to the Medical Centre tomorrow."
Oh.
"Is that by your choice?"
I checked.
"Yeah."
He agreed.
"Well I'm not goin' to the beach am I."
He could.
But since he's been home he's not mentioned his second home (the beach) once.
I wanted to broach the subject with him, but to date hadn't been sure how.
Maybe now's your chance since he just brought it up.
"Well... I'm sure you could."
I quietly suggested.
"No. There's no point."
I winced.
Guess it wasn't the time to bring it up.
I chewed nervously on my lower lip and turned my head so that I could look at Zander's face.
"Zan?"
I whispered to gain his attention.
He turned his gaze down to me.
My heart began to pound in my chest.
Could I even ask the question?
Would it start a fight and make our sleepover entirely awkward?
Well you're going to have to say something now because he's waiting.
Zander raised a questioning eyebrow at me.
"Are you scared to go back to the beach?"
I whispered, my voice barely working.
Zander's expression remained impassive as he stared back at me.
Oh no.
I pissed him off...
He clenched his jaw and pulled his gaze away from me, turning his eyes back to the TV.
Great...
"Yes."
I snapped my gaze back over to his face at the sound of his whispered word.
Yes?
He admitted the truth to me?
"Maybe when my body doesn't affect me so much I'll be able to go back."
Zander muttered.
My heart clenched.
I adjusted myself onto my knees and cupped his face gently between my hands, coaxing him to look at me.
He blinked his big, dark blue eyes at me.
"You are beautiful scars or no scars."
I promised him.
"You have to know and believe that."
"I currently weigh just over eighty kilo's Bails."
His whisper was thick.
If I was to weigh eighty kilo's, I'd be fat.
But for somebody as tall, fit and muscled as Zander...
I offered him a smile.
"So eat more!"
He looked at me with a complete expression of bewilderment, before he gave way to laughter, his body quaking.
I grinned.
"That simple huh?"
Zander sighed and shook his head.
"No it's not simple."
I agreed, settling myself back in beside him.
"Trust me, I know."
I didn't really want to talk about this with him, but maybe it was time he learned that he wasn't alone.
He snapped his gaze from the TV to look at my face.
Uh oh...
I swallowed nervously.
Zander's gaze roamed my face, searching for answers.
"What do you mean you know?"
He finally whispered.
I averted my gaze, chewing on my lower lip.
"There's another reason why I didn't come to town last year."
I confessed.
"You can tell me anything Bails."
He whispered.
I knew I could trust him.
But I'd put that chapter of my life behind me.
"It wasn't intentional and especially not in the beginning."
I insisted.
"But looking back... I realise that 'food' felt like the only thing I could control at that point in my life."
I explained.
"So... you were anorexic?"
Zander's voice was little more than a whisper.
"Not intentionally."
I shook my head.
"Because of the stress I felt, I didn't eat as much as normal. Then I avoided meals. Soon enough I was seeing a Doctor, a Counsellor and a Nutritionist."
My throat was beginning to feel thick.
"I... had no idea..."
Zander whispered.
I shot him a quick glance and a small smile.
"That's the point Zan. Only when all three 'experts' gave Mum the all clear on me, did she make the decision to move us back here."
"Does... your Dad or your brother's know?"
I shook my head.
Silence stretched between us.
I tipped my head back against the headboard and released a sigh.
"All this was meant to be about, Zander, was to let you know that I get it."
"I'm just trynna picture it."
Zander whispered.
"You seem so normal and healthy..."
"That's because like I said, I got better. I accepted help and I changed."
I explained, rolling my eyes to the side to look at his face.
He swallowed noticeably.
"You can do it Zan."
I assured him.
"You just have to face it, accept it and move forward."
Those were the three steps I remembered from my counselling days.
"Face it. Accept it. Move forward."
Zander muttered, his gaze on the TV screen, but apparently unseeingly.
"Out of the three, the only one I can acknowledge is move forward."
"You can't move forward without doing the other two first."
I whispered.
Silence.
Zander pulled a grim face.
"So it's time to Toughen Up Princess then."
I offered him a small smile.
"If that's the motto that will get you through, then yeah."