For Better or For Worse (studxfem)

No regrets💮

    Chapter 4

Ariana POV
3:05am

So here I am, laying in bed trying to get some sleep.. but my mind won't let me, my head is all over the place.

I've been trying to get to sleep since I've got home, I've tried eating something, I've tried reading a book, I even tried playing some music but for some reason, I can't get my ass to sleep.

I'm not sure if it's the fact that I just can't sleep or the fact that I'm thinking about life.

I really dreaded nights like these not having anyone to talk to, not having anyone to listen to your problems, or just talk to period. It's the worst feeling ever.

After about five minutes left of me tossing and turning, I started to hear little cries from the baby monitor on my nightstand.

I figure that gabby must be awake.

I slowly sat up and pulled the covers off, I used my feet to search for my fluffy slides after finding them I got up and walk across the hall to Gabby's nursery.

I slowly opened the door and walked over to her crib. I looked down and saw her tossing and turning, the same way I was when I was trying to go to sleep.

"Awe my poor baby," I said while watching her fight to get to sleep, I slowly reached down and picked her up and cradled her close to me.

"Hi Mommy's baby," I said softly while kissing her forehead and bouncing her lightly.

Yeah, I know what your thinking, how can she a mother at sixteen. It's a long story okay,

to be honest I never thought I would become a mom at such a young age.

Well, who does...

But to be honest it's not as bad as it seems, some people might disagree with me. But trust me if you have the right mindset you'll be okay.

Not a lot of people knows about Gabriella only a handful and I want it to stay that way, it's not that I'm ashamed of getting pregnant ate a young age, it's just that I really don't need people coming at my neck because I choose to have a baby at a young age. If that makes any sense.

Its crazy how some people get pregnant and the first that comes to mind is 'abortion' I could never put my self in that position or have someone hurt my child. Don't get me wrong not a lot of people think that way, but it just hurts me thinking about it and knowing that people would really do it, just so they won't have to deal with the responsibility.

Or they are really some people out there that can't handle being a parent and I get it, it's not easy at all.

But I could never think of hurting my baby like that.

I just want what's best for her, I want her to have a good life. I want her to have big dreams. That's what my mother wanted for me and now I want it for her. I don't want to be one of those parents that neglects their children.

Most people that know of her would ask me some stupid shit like "don't u regret having her" sometimes people ask the stupidest questions.

No, I don't regret having her, No don't regret choosing to be a young parent, Nor do I regret getting pregnant. It might not have happened the way I wanted it to but I would never regret it.

I don't know what I would ever do if I didn't have this little girl. Not having her would be a mistake.

Now that's something I would regret.

After a while I decided to have her stay the rest of the night with me, just to make sure she's alright.

I quietly walked back across the hall to my room I went the opposite side of the bed and formed an L with the pillows on my bed and settled her down in between them.

I went back on my side and got in bed, I put her blanket on her and covered myself with mine. I laid right beside her and watch her sleep peacefully.

I then leaned over and kiss her forehead and whispered: "you mean everything to me".

Soon after that I slowly started to fall into a deep slumber.

                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                           To be continued 💮