April 20-Something 2016

That day. That sick fucking day. That day where my entire life went off like a bomb I could never ever look back.

Mentally conscious, emotionally raw, physically gone. The pain of it stabbing through my entire body, piece by piece, person by fucking person. The bright of the camera and the pain of no movement. One by one, I saw all off your faces, I know all of your names, but I could not speak.

So to that dear dear person, thank you for giving me that drink. That drink, that made me numb, that drink that made still, that bloody fucking drink that ruined my entire world. Though I do not remember a lot, I do remember your face, you with that smile that somehow was sinister but lit up the whole place.

I should of known from your smile that you were no fucking good, but I still fell for that shit. But moving on from you, and let's go onto your mates. I know you had a plan and I realised to late. Tingles. Tingles down my entire body. Until they turned into being straight numb. I felt myself sink to the floor and then I couldn't feel anything anymore. But to those two guys that were trying to "help", I may have not had control, but I could see your hell.

You lied me on that bed, that fucking bed I wish I could burn. As I laid there wanting to cry, you, out of all the people, you came along and 'sat' by my side. I felt the cold breeze hit my back as you lifted and dragged my towards you from my waist. And that's when I felt a tear run down my face. I felt your somehow stinging hands grab between my thighs. You looked at me and smiled, this huge cheesy grin. Silence. One moment of silence. Then I heard it, it scratching high noise of your fucking zip. Then that piercing coldness came again, but this time from the top of my legs, slowly further down and down. You, that smile, that kiss to my chest, your heavy deep breath. That one last kiss to my stomach and then coldness. Stillness. I closed my eyes as you fucking did it. I could hear your heavy breath run through the whole room and your cold hands lay on my ribs as you fucking did it. Seconds, now minutes. These cold hands and hard breath slowly finished and you were done. That piercing sound of your zip again and one last kiss to the lips and you were done.

But oh no, that's nothing yet, coz I fucking knew that you and your friends had a plan. One by one, right, that's how you thought it would go down. Each one of you, with your cold hands and heavy breath. No abilities what so ever. Me, this fucking bed, stillness, coldness and you nine things that you somehow call yourself people.

To the last guy who thought it was ok, I somehow thank you cause I saw you push him. I saw that you pushed him and so I was in no more pain. You wiped my tear, and I feel like you wanted praise, but dear dear boy, you still did what the rest of your mates said was ok.