I'm Not What I say I am by LoveIntoAnOblivion
Total Reads- 95
Total comments- 19
Total Votes- 10
First Update- April 3, 2012
Last Update- April 11,2012
PG-13
8 pages (3 parts)
Fantasy and Teen Fiction
Summary:
Vladimir Dublin has had issues for a long time. He’s way different from all the other mentally disturbed kids at his school. He has a secret that he’s positive that he can’t tell anyone…ever. But will that change when he meets a girl?
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I would suggest rewritting the summary becaus if it played a factor in wheather I read your story or not. I would have been missing out. Your summary makes the story sound chessy and a little cliche and your story isn't like that.
The tone of most of the first chapter was a little monotone, but I guess that was to express the main character Vlad's loneliness.
The paragraph right before Dr. Jace (who for some reason I thought was a man) speaks, I could almost hear a clock ticking away at the seconds in the background as the shifted in their seats around the table.
In chapter two a part mad me question my understanding of the english language. When Vlad said "I was way out of Veronica's league, maybe I could get used to this bimbo."
What does he mean?! Is he saying that he is too good for Veronica? That's it right?
If I'm wrong, I question why isn't he? The way that part is worded is just confusing me and in my defense it is 3 am.
Throughout the three chapter you kept hinting that there was something different about Vlad and his friend Cresil, but you refuse to tell. It's a really intersting story and I hope you work on your summary to keep other from passing it.
BINABASA MO ANG
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