Before she Died

The End of Suffering

Part 4: The End of Suffering

“I am sorry.” I closed my eyes as tears started to flow. I don’t know how many times I heard him saying those words, and I hate it. It only reminds me of what happened two weeks ago. It changed my life, and now I am living like I always do, but not as healthy as I was before that incident at the library. I keep my mouth closed to prevent him from hearing me crying.

Everything is still fresh in my mind.

After I carelessly broke the glass of orange juice, they immediately opened the door which was ajar. They saw me standing and was shocked. I heard gasps, and mom cried as she hugged me tightly. “Oh! My poor child! I’m sorry!” Tears were rolling down while Nadine was looking at me, and he was just standing there looking down silently. I felt like the time stopped from moving and everything around me seemed vague that he was the only one I could see. I didn’t know what should I feel, and I was having difficulty to breath. I just felt weak that time and my body gave up.

I was already in the hospital when I woke up. I saw mom standing not so far while talking to a man whom I thought was a doctor. I didn’t see things clearly not until someone held my left hand. Nadine gave me her caring smile as she wiped her tears. I just nodded and looked at the ceiling.  Memories have gone back to me; how my dad died in front of me, how I involved into car accident six months ago, which almost take my life, however I got amnesia, and how this everything started.  After 3 days of staying in the hospital, I told them to let me go home. I already knew from that day I woke up from a faint that anytime and anywhere I’m going to leave them, my family and him, soon.

“Are you crying again?” I could feel how sincere he is when he asked. I shook my head as if he can see it. I took a deep breath and answered, “I am okay, so don’t worry.”

I heard him sighed. “I hope I could find a way to help you and change everything. It is my fault—“

“No, don’t think that way. It is nobody’s fault.” I wiped the tears on my cheeks. “Mom did that because she didn’t want me to suffer again by remembering everything—“

“But—“  

“—and I am thankful for what you did also.” I smiled even though he can’t see it.

“What is there to be thankful? You should be mad at me right now! Can’t you see I took a part to make everything perfect… to make you… believe all the lies?”

Edward was the last one I talked to before I got into an accident. I and my dad fought so I left the house and stayed in the school. I met Edward that cold evening and told him everything between me and my dad. That evening also, I received a call from Nadine that Dad brought to the hospital. I went to the hospital she told me and saw my dad with his last breath. He gave me a sweet smile the moment our eyes met before he closed his eyes and passed away. I didn’t have the chance to say a word or even tell him how much I love him. All I could do was to hug him and asked forgiveness even though he didn’t hear anything. It was painful for my dad was the only one who can understand me. I was not very close to my stepmother, whom I called Mom after the car accident and my stepsister, Nadine. I couldn’t accept what happened and because of that, I worsen the situation. I got into an accident which resulted to amnesia. That was six months ago.

“Will you believe me if I say I am really happy for what you did?” there was a moment of silence. I already expected him to not answer my question. “I am happy because at least for a short period of time I felt being loved. You see, Nadine and Mom didn’t show any care before. We are not related by blood. Aside from that, my real mom died so I felt like I was the one who is not part of the family, when in fact I am the first daughter, not until after that accident.” Somehow, I feel lucky being sick. “They started to care and treated me like a real daughter and a sister.” Now, after everything, I find myself laughing while thinking back.

“You know they still love you until now, don’t you?”

“Yeah”

“I am glad then.” he said.

“And for what you did, when you proposed to me to become your girlfriend…” I chuckled when I remembered what he did, “That was really funny, but I thank you for that. I know it was part of your pretention.” He gave out a sigh.

“Don’t you remember when we were—“

“Yes, I still remember.” I cut him off already, “It did happen. You also proposed to me when we were 4th year high school students, but I rejected you. Am I right?” Edward was my suitor back then, but I didn’t expect him to be one of those people who will do everything for me.

I gave out a sigh. “Mitral Valve Prolapsed can cause a sudden death when it gets worst, and I guess I am in since I am so careless to forget about taking medicine. That is the hardest part of having an amnesia I think.” He didn’t say a word, so I continued. “This big tree between us, which prevent us to see each other, is really great. How I wish I could grow taller and stay longer in this world like this tree. How I wish I could get to know you more.” I closed my eyes as I placed my right hand on my chest. “I am just going to close my eyes, but don’t worry I still feel my heart beating.”

“Please don’t leave me… yet.” I heard him said. He is crying.

“You know you can hold my other hand, but don’t cross the tree between us. Just stay where you are, and continue lying on its trunk while you are holding my hand. Men do not cry. Aren’t you a real man? Don’t let me hear you crying!” I joked.I did it just to ease the pain he is feeling, and he did what I told him to do so. “This is already enough.” I said while my eyes are still closed. “Nadine, my two great moms, dad, and you, I am so lucky to be part of your…” heart beats slowly, “life.”

At least, before I die I felt the love and care I had long for how many years. I had been feeling lonely since the day my real mom died, but then I am still grateful because my family let me see how beautiful life is. I can have my rest now.

“H-hey! Wake up! Please open your eyes!” I feel him shrugging me. “I said open your eyes, Lynn!” I could hear him crying while telling me to open my eyes. I want to, but I just can’t. I feel so weak.

I felt a tear slowly rolling down my cheek.

Meet me there, dad.

FIN

Hey there CrossBowman! I saw your comment on my website. Thank you for that overwhelming words. I am dedicating this to you, pretty!

^_^