Life

cнapтer 1

I can't do this anymore.
I'm tired of everything.
I'm tired of my life.
I was doing my homework in my living room on the couch that my cat, Ricky pissed on... Yeah I know what you're thinking "EW GROSS!" Well you know what? It's the only couch I have. If my parents bought another couch Ricky would piss all over that one too.
I was listening to iTunes Radio On my iPhone. I had the music as high as it could go up... It helps me forget about everything else. Except this time. I had so much homework to do and I couldn't focus.
I felt like I was about to cry. I felt my lips tremble and my eyes started to get watery. If my grandfather wasn't there I would curl up into a ball of misery and cry forever.
But no, all of a sudden my grandfather feels the need to stay with me at my house until my parents come home... He says that I'm too young to be home alone. I'm twelve (I'm going to turn thirteen soon) ... a babysitter would've been much more useful when I was five and had a single mom that was out of the house all of the time, but instead I stayed home ALONE and watched 'Mickey Mouse Clubhouse', but whatever.
I felt like running to my room and getting the blade in the drawer. But I couldn't. I'm stronger then that... aren't I?
But before I could give it more thougth, all of a sudden the music stopped on my phone stopped and I looked at my phone and it said " Call from dad ".
Great.
My dad told me that I had to get ready to go to my grandmother's earlier. And that's just perfect because she kind of hates me. She can be nice when she wants to, but she doesn't let that side of her show very much.
I knew he was calling me so I could come outside so we could go to my grandma's house. If I didn't pick up he would call me five more times and then come inside yelling, "WHY WONT YOU PICK UP YOUR PHONE!" And then he would see me in my pj's and yell even more because I didn't change and he told me to change twenty minuets ago. So I just answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"You ready?"
"Yeah."
I lied, but it's not like I was going to a party or anything, I could just put on some pants and then I'd be ready.
"Come outside." He said.
"Do I have to go?"
"If you don't, grandpa will be complaining and say that I shouldn't leave you home alone and that he always has to take care of you."
Which was actually true.
"Fine" I said hesitantly.
After I was done getting dressed I put my headphones back in my ears and put iTunes Radio back on. It took me about five minutes to get dressed, by the time I was done my dad was by the door. We said bye to my grandfather and went off to the house at the end of the street where my grandmother lives. I call it that in memory of the movie, and she literally lives at the house right across the street from us. My dad actually bought it because a good friend of my parents' that used to live there, left and they sold the house, and my dad bought it so my grandmother could live there. There were two floors which my grandma didn't need both of, so we rented the first floor to a couple with two babies because my grandmother wanted the second floor - don't ask why.
I walked down the street that still had some snow left from all those snowstorms and had turned into disgusting brown lumps of stale snow.
Ew.
As I was walking, I had a moment where I felt like I was going along with the beat of the music and I honestly felt like I was in a music video. When I got to the house I waited at the porch for my dad to open the door.
I went up the stairs and knocked on the door. While my dad carried a pack of bottled water for my grandmother. She's not really a fan of grocery shopping. Or anything that has to do with going out.
"Who is it?"
"It's me."
She opened the door saying, "Wow what a suprise."
I just smiled and went in.
My dog (he lives with my grandmother because when my parents were separated my dad lived with my grandmother and my dad kept my dog because my dad didn't want to keep it at my house with my mom, but then they got back together ((details on that another time)), and my dog is still with my grandmother)
Chico (my dad named him - don't ask) started jumping on me and I think he scratched me.
My grandmother's apartment smells like crap. She doesn't know it but everyone else does. My dog pisses everywhere because my grandmother is socially impaired or has some type of phobia like Agoraphobia. I am an anti-social girl myself, but she's is on a TOTALLY different level. So, since my grandmother is too afraid to be in the outside world, Chico doesn't get to go on dog walks often. My dad walks him sometimes, but barely since he works a lot. My dad came inside the apartment with the bottled water and I went into the living room and sat on a pee-infested couch. And if your going to say "Ew", then go back to the top of my story.
I got the homework out of my backpack and just sat there listening to the music blasting in my head.
I just sat there and thought.
I thought about everything.
I'm not sure how long I sat there, but my dad called me so we could go. I had just started doing my homework a few minutes before.
"Why?" I asked
"We have to go pick up your mom."
sigh...
"Fine."
So we said our goodbyes to my grandmother and went off to our car to go to the train station to pick up my mom. The car ride felt like it went on forever. I just listened to music the entire car ride and watched the streets illuminated with the street lights and neon signs hanging inside stores pass me by. I felt one of the car doors slam shut and I looked up to see my mom talking to my dad. I guess I spaced out.
When we got to the house I went to my room and I layed down on my bed with my backpack next to me and I just stared at the ceiling.
I didn't have the energy to do anthing.
So I just closed my eyes.
I closed my eyes and thought about my life.

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Ok so I really hope you guys like this story so far and yea I'll try to write more soon:)