in a heartbeat (short story) ↠ a.i

Darkness can replace your sweet scented soul any time, anywhere along with anger and hatred. And that's how I grew up. I grew up with anger in my in my soul, hatred in my heart and I let the demons take over my body and mind because I didnt believe that love exists in this world.

Until I met him.

I didnt know what "love" was before I met him. 

 --

Flashback

"What is love?" I asked.

"Its the most precious thing a person could ever feel, or a person could ever give to another person." he said.

"No one could ever give that to me."

"I would." he responded.

-end-

 --

He gave me what I wanted, and never knew I did too. And from then, I knew what love was, and it felt amazing. 

But one night, we ended up in a place filled with darkness. Demons and spirits coming from the white walls that seemed so dark which surround the place, and he was lying down on a bed covered with white sheets, surrounded by so many bags filled with liquid that connect to him. He was an angel that wasnt supposed to be in that place, but he needed to.

"I'm okay." he muttered.

I smiled at him. I tried my best to be happy, but I couldnt. It was impossible.

Back then, when I look at him I felt happiness in my soul, my heart beats faster than ever. But now, whenever I look at him, all I feel isnt happiness, isnt anger either.

I felt sadness running through my veins. My heart stops every minute, every time I look at him. I felt tears run down my face as I look at him.

"I'm not" I said.

Instead of responding, he pulled out a book, like some diary and reached it out to me.

"Read it after I'm gone." he whispered.

I shook my head. Even though I know he will leave me any time, I can't accept it. I needed him in my life.

I planted a small kiss on his lips. 

"I love you." he said.

"Dont leave me" I held his hand, begging for him not to leave.

His hazel brown eyes looked so tired, tired of living in this world. Tired of everyone and everything.

"I won't leave you." he said. "You may not see me but I will always be there."

I looked down. I felt dead inside. I dont know what I would do without him. I have spent my entire life with him, I can't loose him. He's the only source of happiness I have left.

Tears started to fall down my cheeks as the beating of his heart slowed down. This is it. He's leaving me. His eyes started to close as his breathing started to fade.

"I love you, Aurora" he said as his lips curl to a soft smile, a tear escaped his eye. "I will always be there."

And at that moment, I felt safe. I felt loved, I didn't feel alone. I realized that I had to let go of him too, if it is God's will. He's going to be in a much safer place, where no one can argue with him, no one can abuse him. No one can threaten him.

His eyes started to close as he said "i love you" for the last time, with every last breath there is. I started to cry as I heard his heartbeat stop.

...

He's gone.

I held his hand and kissed his temple. I whispered "I love you so much Ashton."

-

Days passed after his funeral. I felt empty inside. I was sitting at home, not knowing what to do since I am still recovering from all the thing that had happened for the past few weeks. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw how hideous I looked. My are still eyes swollen as fuck from crying almost every single night without him by my side. Darkness filled every single corner, every single wall in the room. It was quiet. Sadness took over the place and there was nothing I could do to change that.

Suddenly, I remembered the book he had given me before he passed away. I kept it under his pillow, which was next to mine. I couldn't help but cry as I browse through every page of the book. It was filled with pictures of us and letters he secretly wrote, the first time we met.

-

Dear Aurora,

You have such a beautiful name, babe. I am so thankful to have you in my life. Honestly, I dont know how to thank you. You've given me happiness that no one ever did. You told me, that in your past life you were miserable. I haven't told anyone this, but I was too. I may seem very bubbly, but deep inside I also had problems with everything. I remember the first time we met, and I cannot lie, you were snobby as hell. You were so pathetic, annoying and really really bossy. You kept telling everyone what to do even if you knew how annoying you were. You wont stop talking, and it pissed me off at first, but then I realized how different you were from all the other girls I have ever met, which were the same and boring. And that is how I fell in love with you. I fell in love with the Aurora who everyone knew as "bossy". I loved every single moment I have spent with you. I loved the way you talk whenever you're with me. I loved the way your hand fits in mine like it was made for me, and how we swing them as we stroll down the streets of Australia. I loved the way you yell at me whenever we have an argument which was all the time. I love the way you get angry at me whenever I do something wrong. I love the way your hair falls down your face and how your eyes flutter when you fall asleep. I love the way you breathe. I love the way you roll your tongue into mine whenever we kiss. I love the sounds you make whenever we're in bed. I love you. I just love you, for who you are and for everything. And I am proud to call you MINE. You are possibly the best thing that life had to offer to me, and I am so thankful for that.. I'm really sorry for all the times I have done something wrong, like the time I kept my sickness as a secret. I just wanted you to know that I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to cry and I didnt want you to that I was going to leave you forever because I won't. And I am sorry I didnt get the chance to tell you this while I was there, by your side. I love you Aurora. This isn't goodbye. Just remember I will always be there no matter what happens. I will be in a better place from now on, watching and guiding you every step of the way. Don't feel alone because I will always be there by your side. Even if you can't see me, I'm always there, and always will. I love you so much. See you in another life, Aurora.

Ash x

-

Tears started to fall down as I stopped reading. I felt like my heart was stepped on, at the same time I felt loved. I was his. For a short period of time, I made him feel like he was everything. I made him feel special. Every moment we shared together meant everything to him, and it meant everything to me, too. I made him feel like he was worth it, like he was worth living for, and I cannot thank you enough to God for giving me an opportunity to give him what he deserved. Love. He didn't last long enough in this world, but our love always will. Love can never die. It's always just around the corner. Every person deserves to be given love by anyone, and when you find that special person in your life, cherish every moment you have, every time given to both of you to spend together, treasure everything that means the most to you because you may never know, they might be gone in a heartbeat.

-

A/N: yay so basically this is another short but longer story bc im too lazy to do another story and ps dont fucking hate me for killing a character bc its only a fanfiction

im not very proud of it embarrassment is everywhere goodbye friends i am gone