KILLING THE BUTTERFLIES

It was an ordinary day when an unusual thing happened. People are doing their same old rituals while the sun is like a spotlight on the sky. The texture of the air is warm until it suddenly change. The clouds started to pour their tears. Rain drops are streaming through the glass window beside me as if telling me to remember something from the past.

“Years had passed but still I can’t let go of my love for her.”

I found a sticky note on the table which is my favorite spot in this place. And that is what written on it. It’s a rare thing because I’ve been eating here for years and there was no such thing. The penmanship of the one who wrote this seems familiar.

Hennesy…

A part of me suddenly came back when my heart beats as if it is shouting to my mind the name of my long lost love, Hennesy.

***
IT IS RAINING CATS AND DOGS SO I TEXTED HENNESY TO GO ON WHERE I AM. I’m so irritated with rain but I love it. I love the cold feeling whenever it is raining. I love the way it falls to the ground as if it misses the ground so much that he can’t wait to embrace it.

“Zoey!” it is Hennesy, my dear Hennesy. Sometimes I’m wishing that he’s like the rain who can’t wait to embrace the ground. But I know he will never be.

“Why are you here? You should wait for me inside this building. It’s cold outside.”

Because I can’t wait to see you…

“I’m fine. Sorry for disturbing you at this kind of time. I just want to give you this letter.”

“For what?”

“Please read this when you get home!”

As I’m running away from him, I heard him calling my name but I’m afraid. That letter is containing my confession to him. And I’m not sure if I can take any rejection right in front of him.

***
I DECIDED TO GO BACK TO THE UNIVERSITY WHERE I AM TEACHING. I’ve been a university instructor here at the same university we graduated from for two years . We are on the same university but we never met after the day I gave him my confession.

I was walking on the hallway when I bumped into a thing—no, a person because of overthinking.

“Sorry Sir…”

I was shocked. It’s my Hennesy. A sudden feeling came back. The dead butterflies became alive and now ruining my stomach. Memories of the past is flashing on my mind. I guess It's true that the hardest thing to let go is the one you never really had.

“Sandria!”

He didn’t notice me like he used to. He hugged that Sandria. The kind of hug that I always wanted to have. I fake a laugh but the tears of pain sip through my eyes.

“Why are you crying Zoey?” I heard a familiar voice beside me. The guy who’s always been rejected. Just like his name, I'm always saying no to him because of this foolish unrequited love in my heart.

“You know what Noah? I’m so tired of chasing him. I am really tired but I guess he will never stop from running. And I know I will never ever reach him.”

***
HUNDREDS OF SUNSETS PASSED BY. MILLIONS OF RAINDROPS VANISHED. A LOT OF WIND HAS BLOWN AWAY. And here I am, waiting for a thing that this greedy fate will never bring.

“Do you believe in true love?” a stranger asked me once.

“I don’t think so… foolish love, maybe?”