Diana [Liam Payne Fan Fiction]

8: Beautifully Broken

Sleep wasn't an option. When Liam peeked in my door at 8 a.m., I could tell he was surprised to find me laying in bed wide awake.

"This is for you." He put a thick leather book right inside the door. The door closing behind him sounded more like the door to a huge vault slamming shut. Or, more appropriately, the door to a prison cell.

I got up and padded over to the door. I picked up the book and immediately dropped it. It was a freaking Bible.

Was this a joke to him? Oh, sure, tell the suicidal girl about Jesus so maybe she'll get happy and leave! Or maybe it was to point out that I would be sinning if I killed myself. Hey, guess what? You're gonna go to Hell! I didn't know Liam was religious, but it seemed to fit his goody good personality. Now he was going to force his religion down my throat. I wanted to punch him in his beautiful face.

I stood there for a while just fuming. I wouldn't have been surprised if someone told me I had steam coming out of my ears. Finally, I looked down at the Bible again. Oh, hey God! Ready to tell me how much I need Jesus?

But something caught my eye, and despite my anger, I picked up the Bible and flipped to the page that had the bright yellow post-it note sticking out of it. There were two words written on the note: For Meg.

The page I had turned to was from the book of Jeremiah. A passage was underlined in red pen. A single sentence.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I read it over and over again until I figured I would recite it in my sleep. I let out a long breath I didn't know I'd been holding and fell apart.

I sat there by the door and cried, and cried, and cried. I cried for my mother who didn't deserve to die so young. I cried for my father who, although I couldn't believe I actually felt this way, shouldn't have to constantly drowning himself in alcohol to forget his grief. And lastly, I cried for myself, and I hated myself for it, but I did. I imagined me as someone else on the outside looking in so I wouldn't seem like such a narcissist, and cried for a girl with a broken family and a broken heart and a broken life.

A while later there was a soft knock on the door. By then the tears were gone, along with my emotions and the will to stop whoever was pushing the door open.

Liam came into the room, spotted me behind the door, and dropped to the ground beside me. He sat up against the wall and put his arms around me. With my energy gone, I abandoned all intentions to push away and to close up my heart and quietly pulled myself onto his lap and buried my head into the crook of his neck.

I was thankful for the silence, and the comfort of another human body next to mine. It had been so long, I thought distantly, since someone had held me. I'd forgotten what it was like to feel another heartbeat against my skin, reminding me that perhaps mine wasn't as broken as I thought it was.

"Whenever you want to talk," Liam said softly, "I'm listening."

I nodded stiffly. And then before I knew what was happening, words were spilling from my mouth, words that spoke of grief and pain and abandonment and terror and loneliness. I cannot explain it as anything but the voice of my soul, telling the story of my life and the story of everything that went along with it. When I was finished my face was wet, though I hadn't thought it was possible I would ever cry again. I sniffed, which was probably the weeniest thing I could've done at the moment, and said, "Well you can't be very thrilled to still be here right now."

"Of course I am," Liam whispered, sounding a little surprised. "Megan, there is nothing you could've done, or nothing that could've been done to you, that would ever make me love you any less."

I choked out a wet, mirthless laugh. "I didn't think you were supposed to let the L word slip during the first month."

"It wasn't a slip," he said, turning my face towards his. Suddenly the short distance between us was too far. Liam seemed to notice it too, and ducked his head those few inches to close the gap.

Our lips brushed lightly at first, and then I leaned up against his mouth and everything melted away. His lips were soft and smooth and secure and I clung to them desperately, the first solid and good thing I had ever had in my life. A refuge. I reached my hand around his neck and ran my fingers through his hair, wanting to hold onto every single strand and never let go. His hands were running down my back, soothing and strong and safe. I felt the heat from our mouths like a steadily burning hearth, the hearth which I would rebuild my life around as he had told me I could.

You can start over, here. With us.

At last we pulled apart, and I grinned like a crazy drunk person and he returned the grin, just as crazily and drunkenly as mine was. I settled my head back into his shoulder and said, "Thank you. For being my anchor."

"No, thank you," he replied, "for being mine."

We sat like that for the rest of the day, our pulses beating in time with one another like a single heart.

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AN

Yes, I know, that took way too long to update, go on and shoot me.

But THIS IS NOT THE END so don't go away and stay tuned for the next chapter (which will be uploaded a lot quicker than this one was)

Thanks guise, you rock

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