Arranged To Him #Wattys2017

Thirty Three

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Eliana's POV

I wiped a tear away as I sat in my new temporary room. It was close to my old room, except it was a couple halls down.

I missed Harry.

I wasn't going to tell him that though, obviously. He deserved to be waiting for my forgiveness. To be honest, I don't really know if I'd ever forgive him. 

Not right now at least. 

I was about to lie down for bed when a knock sounded at my door. I furrowed my eyebrows and brushed away a few stray tears and walked towards it. I opened it and my heart plummeted to the floor. 

Harry stood there, in his nightwear, as he fiddled with his fingers and smiled weakly at me. His green eyes were puffy and his nose was red. I opened the door wider to let him in. He looked at me gratefully and sniffled a bit before he crept inside my new room. I closed the door and turned around to face him while he took in the features of my new chambers, all while keeping my arms crossed in front of me. He turned around to face me and offered me a tight-lipped smile to which I returned with a nod.

"I know I'm the last person you want to associate yourself with right now," Harry smiled sadly, "but I always say goodnight to you...and...I didn't want that to change just because you're mad at me."

I didn't reply.

He shuffled in his spot, staring at me uncomfortably. He looked down and his chin wobbled a bit before he took in a deep breath. He brought his gaze back up to mine in a pleading stare. 

"Please," he whispered, "I can't take it. I know I messed up, I really did, but I can't take it anymore knowing that you're not in the room next to me. That I can't just walk through a secret tunnel and climb into your bed and hold you. I know I'm not helping anything here, but I just need to be able to hug you. And then I'll leave you be. I promise, I just-"

He cut himself off, looking down pathetically. My lips parted when I saw a tear fall from his eye to the floor below. I almost gave in and ran to him right there.

Almost. 

As much as it pained me to see him this way, I couldn't give him what he wanted. Despite how bad I wanted it too. Every night, if I wasn't sleeping in his room, he'd come into my room and give me a hug while we stood there talking about everything, whilst hugging. I knew that if I let him do this tonight, I wouldn't be able to last longer than a week before I was back in his arms again. 

And I couldn't do that. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "but I can't."

He sighed while he closed his eyes and turned his head down to the ground. He nodded and took in a breath before he made his way over to me. His dull green eyes weren't vibrant anymore. Everything happy about Harry had vanished and I felt bad because I was the reason for it, but I knew I couldn't let that bother me. 

He placed his hands on my arms causing me to jump but soon settle down. He dragged his hands down and intertwined his fingers with mine as he pressed himself close to me. I took in a sharp breath as I looked up at him as he leaned down to me.

"I love you," he said painfully, "I love you and I probably don't deserve your love...I know I don't deserve your love but I will do anything to get it back. I promise. I'm going to need my Queen by my side, and I'd rather die before I let you get away from me."